Bad Call: A Summer Job on a New York Ambulance

I am an Honorably Discharged Viet Nam Era Vet… the only reason I’m stating this at the start of my review… is that the only way… I… and my fellow servicemen… could have made it through our enlistment… is with a constant… and determined… use of “GALLOWS-HUMOR”! Most cops need this same daily defense mechanism… most Emergency Room attendees probably do… grave diggers do… crime scene cleanup personnel do… probably… everybody with a dirty… edge of life job does in some shape or form. Tony Soprano and his associated boys… especially “Paulie Walnuts”… operate each day and night with “Gallows-Humor”. All the people and job types I’ve just listed… would love this book!

Your Great Aunt Bessie… who your Mother made you visit every fourth Sunday… that had all her brightly flowered chairs and couches covered with plastic sheets… would not make it through this book. Your middle school English teacher… who would make your class take a five-minute break each afternoon… and hold your hands up with your fingers splayed… and hum… to make you one with her five pet cats… would not want to read this book.

This book… is an absolute “GALLOWS-HUMOR”… “DARK-COMEDY”… “BLACK-COMEDY”… true story classic! The author Mike Scardino… tells of his pre-college… and college vacation job in Queens New York… (coincidentally he mentions he lived in Bayside… where I spent seven-years of my childhood)… working for the Saint John’s Queens Hospital Ambulance Service. Starting in May 1967 at the age of eighteen… Mike worked to pay his way through Vanderbilt University. It’s a book I could not… and did not… want to put down. One-third of the way through I was already praying somehow… someway… Mike may have many more untold stories he’s squirreled away for a second book. I don’t know which characters and/or situations were more hilarious…. Mike’s description of the drivers he worked with… or the ludicrous… and yes… sad… although… “almost”… each and every… death… dismemberment… vomit inducing… tale… should have a laughing happy-face with tears rolling down at the end of each sentence.

His fellow drivers… whether they’re large men who hint that they’re linked to the end of the Mafia organizational chart… (Hey… I can get you any shoes you want!)… or diminutive men who have an encyclopedic collection of sounds and mannerisms when different types of women come into view… and regardless of how much blood was on the floor… in a myriad of colors… or how many limbs fall out of a victims clothes when it was picked up… or even when the author can barely describe what’s left of… what might have been a body… “IT LOOKED LIKE HE MAY HAVE BEEN LYING ON THE COUCH AND SOMEHOW ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR, ON HIS LEFT SIDE, JUST IN FRONT OF IT. I SAY ON HIS LEFT SIDE—HE HAD NO LEFT SIDE. WHAT HAD BEEN HIS LEFT SIDE HAD GROWN INTO THE CARPET. JUST COALESCED WITH THE CARPET. IT WAS AS IF HE HAD MELTED INTO THE CARPET, AND HE AND THE CARPET WERE ALL ONE PIECE. WHERE HIS HAIR OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN, THERE APPEARED TO BE LONG GRAY-AND-WHITE FILAMENTS OF MOLD. INSTEAD OF A FACE, THERE WAS A FLAT, OVAL PLANE COVERED WITH MAGGOTS.”…

Reviewer’s Foot Note: **POW!!””… what was that sound??? I think it was the sound of Great Aunt Bessie… throwing this book in the trash. (I told you she wouldn’t like it!)

Despite any of this human horror… Mike and his compatriots… ate so much… junk food… constantly… and in gargantuan quantities… without any revulsion… ever impeding their fast-food-feasting. I also loved the author’s parenthetical humor… and sharing his internal battling thoughts of human decency and “GALLOWS-HUMOR”.

I absolutely loved this book… and recommend it… with a caution… if you have plastic sheets on your living room furniture… or like to hum to become one with your cats… this book is not for you!

this is a collection of stories by Mike Scardino when he worked a summer job on an ambulance in Queens to help pay for College. His original intent was to go to Medical School but his experience on the Ambulance cured him of that. The stories take place in the late 60's, early 70's in Queens, NY. I was not expecting this book to be as entertaining and as good a read as it was. The fact that these stories took place so long ago had a lot to do with my expectations. The author either has a great memory or took prodigious notes or both. Each story is a couple of pages long but they are filled with good descriptions and memorable situations and characters. As the title states " Bad Call" , these are his Bad calls from his 4 years on the St. John Ambulance. Some of these stories are humorous, sad and horrifying especially to the author who was 18-21 yrs. old for the stories. Witnessing the frailty of life and the randomness of events leading to Medical intervention seemed to have jaded the author at a young age and left him questioning why alot and considering being an English Major a better life choice. The jacket of the book states that the author now lives in South Carolina but does not mention what he does now. I enjoyed this collection of stories and I feel the author is talented and has a way with words. I would be interested in any further writings of Mike Scardino. If you are a reader of true life emergencies that take place in an urban setting ,you will enjoy this book. If you are looking for insight on experience on an ambulance, though the stories are old they are relevant as the same emergencies still take place today though the equipment and protective gear is better, Recommended.

I really enjoyed this book! I found it fascinating and I think a lot of people in this industry will relate to the stories, especially those from NY. The stories are often very poignant and aren't just about shock value, although there is plenty in the book that will shock you! It's very well written, and I liked the format of each chapter being an individual story. Definitely worth reading!

I am a bit surprised by how much I ended up liking this book. This book was quite a bit different than my usual reads but once I started reading this book I didn't want to put it down. This may not be a book for everyone but it definitely worked for me. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to read Mike's story.

I grew up watching the TV show Emergency and have been known to watch a re-run of the show every once in a while. I like watching a medical team in action working to save a life and it is really interesting to see how things have changed in the field in such a short amount of time. I was really quite interested in this memoir of an ambulance worker in New York City in the late 60's because that just sounds like an incredibly difficult job to have.

This book is made up of really short chapters with each chapter covering a different call. If you are looking for resolution on every case, it isn't going to happen in this book. The author takes the reader through the ambulance worker's role which ends at the hospital. These are not boring cases being covered in this book and there were more than a few scenes that may be too much for any reader that is a bit squeamish. I like a little bit of blood and gore so it worked well for me.

I think that one of the main strengths of this book was the author's ability to really bring these situations to life. The descriptions were very well done and I was able to easily visualize the scenes as Mike went through his days on the job. As the book progresses, we also see what kind of impact this difficult job has had on the young man just trying to do a good job. It was really very interesting to me how much this work has changed over the years and couldn't imagine having to do this kind of work without some basic precautions such as gloves.

I would recommend this book to others. There are quite a few scenes in this book that will stay with me for a long time. I have a lot of respect for anyone that works in the medical field day in and day out and think that the obstacles facing an ambulance worker out in the field would make the job quite challenging. Mike Scardino has a gift for words and has told a very memorable tale in this book. I wouldn't hesitate to read more of his writing in the future.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher.

"Look, we'd love to stay and talk but we have to run.
There's more where he came from."

Mike Scardino, a young pre-med college student, takes up a summer job as St. John's Queens Hospital ambulance attendant (at the insistence of his parents). They think it will help him prepare for life as a doctor.

And wow. They were wrong.

But Mike made a commitment. And so, he always returns to the ambulance - every college summer and holiday, he picks up extra hours and late night shifts and despite all his efforts, the job gets to him.

And soon, even the thought of returning sends creeping tendrils of dread down his back.

And while he just signed up to work on the summers, he soon finds out that this kind of job that sticks with you for life.

I was enthralled. Wholly enthralled.

I absolutely love books that provide a slightly morbid look on life (i.e. Working Stiff or Stiff)), and honestly, this one just takes the cake.

It ensnared me from the very first page and held me close until the last. Every call he spoke about was captivating - the injuries, the mishaps, the bodies, they all were fascinating and the way he spoke about them truly humanized the ordeal.

Scardino expresses the very real and raw emotions in such a way that it just sticks with you. There were several moments that I just felt for this young man and the horrors he experienced.

However, and this is absolutely essential, this book was not depressing.

It would be very easy to just list horror after horror given what Scardino faced but instead, he finds amusement in the odd moments and the little things.

"I know that late at night, in the morgue, when it's very quite, you can hear the bodies fart."

Even in the face of the most gruesome of bodies and cases, his hilariously off-kilter observations brought much-needed levity to the situation.

Overall, this one was absolutely riveting – it was gruesome, gory and surprisingly wholesome. I’m definitely recommending this one if you are looking for a in-depth view on the profession!

Through the voice of a young, unseasoned, summer ambulance attendant, I feel like I'm riding shotgun, careening throughout the streets of New York pursuing the next call and hanging on for dear life. What to expect? The worst thing you've ever seen? I was riveted to the often funny, more than often gory, details that unfold to reveal the angry, drugged, panicked, scary, combative, dying, injured people that he and his partners cajole, carry under duress, and race back to the hospital with, hoping they're still alive. MY FAVORITE THING is the author's voice. His wild, direct, no-holes-barred language of his youth carries me along for the ride and compels me not to get off. I'm touched thinking about what this must have been like for a wet-behind-the-ears teenager facing the gamut of so much misery, suffering, and threatening behavior. I'm sure it changed him forever. I did not want to put this book down.

I found this book for sale for a couple of bucks at our local library. The description and the endorsements compelled me to buy it. I’m so glad I did!

This is one of the most vividly written, remarkably told books I’ve ever read in my life. The author is exceptionally gifted at capturing the scenes from his life as an ambulance driver in the late 60s and the early 70s in New York City.

In addition, I found a few of his insights to be pithy, humorous, or brilliant. His stories are often dark, sometimes too gross or painful to read. But his observations and inner thoughts are worthy - authentic and applicable.

I couldn’t put the book down. Even before I was finished, I told my Mom about it and asked if she'd like to borrow it. She said yes. I finished the book. And now it's in her hands.

I do have one beef about Bad Call, though.

I don’t know if anyone else noticed this, but there are no question marks anywhere in the book. Not one single question mark.

Do you know what I mean?

It would be like the sentence I just wrote (Do you know what I mean?) iterated without the question mark, like this:

Do you know what I mean.

None of the questions in the text contained a question mark, even though they were clearly questions.

I don't know if this is a style thing, or if the editors at Little Brown wanted to create a new kind of book genre, or if this is how young readers like to read books - without punctuation - or what. Did the author's laptop not have a question mark key? Did his editor at Little Brown miss the class on punctuation?

I don't know.

What I do know is that it's somewhat off putting. I sometimes had to reread sentences or paragraphs twice because I read a question, but did not see a question mark. So I had to double check the syntax to make sure it was a question.

Anyway, aside from that rather odd style, I found Bad Call to be one of most enjoyable and worthwhile books I've read in many years.

I raced through this book and immediately recommended it to my friends on FB. I like the writing style and found the short, action-packed chapters mesmerizing. I hope to read more books by Mike Scardino.

Movies and television programs about emergency ambulance services are popular, as evidenced by the success of the film 'Mother, Jugs, and Speed', and TV shows like 'Emergency' and 'Ambulance.' People are inherently curious about accidents, calamities, and medical emergencies, and "Bad Call" - which details the experiences of a young ambulance worker - is a real-life peek behind the scenes.

In 1967, Mike Scardino was an 18-year-old high school graduate who needed tuition for Vanderbilt University. Mike's dad - who ran a gas station/garage that serviced many ambulances from St. John's Queens Hospital in New York - wangled Mike a job with the ambulance service. The position paid well, and the boy worked there during summers and school breaks until he graduated college and joined the National Guard.

Mike either kept a journal or has an eidetic memory, because his work experiences are described in vivid and compelling detail. The book is structured as a series of ambulance calls, but Mike includes amusing anecdotes about his life, relatives, girlfriend, fellow employees, and more. Though Mike's stories hail from five decades ago - when the drinking age was 18 and there were no cell phones, texting, Twitter, etc. - most of his tales are not dated, and could well have occurred yesterday.

It's a bit odd that Mike chose to become an ambulance worker since he had a "hair-trigger gag reflex" growing up. Young Mike got carsick all the time, couldn't eat pasta with tomato sauce (to the amusement of his Italian relatives), and was made ill by certain colors - like aqua-green. With a wonky gastric tract you'd think Mike would get sick when exposed to ambulance smells like decomposition, gangrene, and gastrointestinal bleeding, but he powered through - and could even endure visual triggers like carnage, blood, and gore.

Many of Mike's stories include tidbits about his partners, who changed all the time since Mike's schedule was erratic, and he filled in as needed. Some of Mike's more colorful co-workers were:

Fred - who hailed from the Deep South. Fred was as smart as a whip, skinny as a snake, mean as a mink, and looked like a turkey vulture. He was a good, knowledgable ambulance worker though, and Mike felt confident partnering with him.

Jose - who came from Peru. Jose was 5' 3" tall and had a strking Mesoamerican profile. He was barrel- chested, and - like many ambulance workers - extremely strong. Jose was also energetic, cheerful, and funny as hell....and being with him was like "being with an overcaffeinated clown."

Andy - who emigrated from England. Andy - a big baby-faced guy who was nicknamed Andy Panda - was one of Mike's favorite partners. Andy never graduated from college, but he was smart and well-read and knew his stuff around emergencies. Though he was only 19, Andy seemed old and wise.

Pete - who was Mike's boss. Pete was short and squat with the personality of a perpetually agitated crab. He was always angry, and he bullied his employees. Pete liked to torment his partners, especially the young ones, and - when a call came in - would always tell Mike, "Come on kid, let's go. This is probably gonna be the worst thing you've ever seen."

Big Al - who weighed over 300 pounds. Big Al had coke bottle glasses, and always kept a cigar stub in the corner of his mouth. Al's good sense of humor and claims of being connected gave him a 'Merry Mafioso' vibe. Big Al also had a prodigious appetite, and could put away a dozen weenies from the Sabrett's hot dog stand near the ambulance station.

Over the course of Mike's ambulance career, he faced a wide variety of situations. Among other things, Mike helped deliver a baby; transported patients who were 99% dead; encountered corpses that had almost completely decomposed; saw suicides who had shot or hung themselves; transported people who'd suffered heart attacks or strokes; aided homeless people who'd been thrown out by their relatives; saw kids who'd overdosed; came across mentally ill people who were physically violent (to him); helped carry morbidly obese patients down steep, narrow flights of stairs; saw beat-up women who refused to report their abusive partners; helped at the site of a plane crash; and much more.

Among Mike's many calls, a few were especially memorable, including the following five.

- The Rule of Nines.
A call came in reporting 'an officer down in Maspeth.' An officer down call was always a rush, so the ambulance workers raced over and found a cop sitting in front of a charcoal grill. The patient was alert enough to describe what had happened: He was squirting charcoal lighter on the hot coals, and the can of lighter fluid blew up, dousing his legs in burning fluid. The cop didn't look too bad, and his legs weren't bloody, but instead were alabaster white.

The patient's injuries were assessed by the rule of nines. This refers to the fact that a burn victim's condition is assessed in units of 9%. The front of each leg is 9%, and the officer had the front of both legs badly burned, so he had third degree burns on 18% of his body. (A third degree burn is the most serious type of burn.) Eighteen percent may not sound too bad, but the officer died. The moral is, don't squirt lighter fluid on a hot grill.

- Jesus Speaks.
A call came in as "a female psycho in Jackson Heights." The 'psycho' was a little old Italian lady whose apartment looked like the gift shop at the Vatican, filled with Blessed Mothers, Jesus figurines, and statues of saints and angels.

The patient spoke English, but had a heavy accent. The daughter had called the ambulance because her mom wouldn't take her pills, wasn't acting right, and needed to see a doctor. The ambulance workers were very solicitious with the little old lady.

Ambulance worker: "Dear, it will be okay. We'll just drive you down the street to Elmhurst hospital and you'll see the doctor."

Little Old Lady: "I no ride in ambulance."

Cop at scene: "Dear, you need to come along with these nice men and you don't want to make a fuss for your neighbors to see, do you?

Little Old Lady: "They no gonna see me go in no ambulance."

Eventually, with much persuasion, the woman is escorted into the ambulance. On the way to the hospital, Mike is getting her information - full name, date of birth, etc. - when the little old lady speaks out in a firm, loud, monotone:

"I AM THE VOICE OF JESUS CHRIST
LET GO A THIS WOMAN RIGHT NOW
SHE AIN'T GOT NOTHING WRONG WITH HER
LET GO THIS WOMAN RIGHT NOW."

Mike interrupts to ask a question.

"I AM THE VOICE OF JESUS CHRIST
DO NOT INTERRUPT."

The ambulance passed under an elevated train.

"I AM THE VOICE OF JESUS CHRIST
IF YOU DO NOT LET THIS WOMAN OUT I GONNA MAKE THESE TRACKS FALL DOWN AND KILL ALL A YOU."

The ambulance emerged from under the elevated tracks safe and sound.... and neither the patient nor Jesus had any more to say.

- All It Takes.
A call came in: Man down. Motorcycle. When the ambulance arrived at the scene, there were two big men with Harleys, one sitting on the ground. The injured guy on the ground was Hank, who explained what happened: "We came up to this stop and I bumped Frank's bike from behind. I couldn't have been going more than 2 or 3 miles per hour.....it was just a tap. It doesn't even hurt that much but I think I may have busted my ankle. I don't think I should walk on it."

Mike figured he should take a peek at the ankle, in case it needed a splint before the patient was moved. When Mike picked up Hank's pants, his foot fell off. Not completely off. It was hanging on by the thinnest pedicle (narrow strip) and was essentially amputated. There was almost no blood, Hank had almost no pain, and he had no idea what had happened.

Mike put on a splint and left it to the doctor in the ER to tell Hank the bad news.

- Erosion.
A call came in labeled DIB (difficulty in breathing) from the roommate of a sick man. When the ambulance workers entered the patient's residence the stench was overwhelming - repulsively foul. The sick man was an unremarkable-looking guy, conscious and alert....the fellow next door. However, the patient's legs were covered in maggots from his groin to his feet....probably related to tissue death from diabetes.

Mike speculated that the man would probably lose both legs immediately, and it would be touch and go to keep the tissue death from spreading up through the rest of his body. Mike's question was: "How the hell can sombody sit on his ass for what must have been a pretty long period of time and let this happen to his body, without getting help. And how could the roommate stand the smell and not call for help before this."

- Two prisoners.
A call came in: Man down at LaGuardia. Possible overdose. When the ambulance arrived, there was a man on a stretcher, out cold. Before the man was wheeled out to the ambulance, a cop handcuffed him to the stretcher, both hands to the side rails. The man was a dealer who'd been sampling his own product. The cop was the designated officer who would go along in the ambulance, to escort the dealer to the hospital.

In the ambulance, the cop looked at Mike with an icy stare, and started to undress the patient....to Mike's astonishment. The officer pulled something out of the dealer's underwear, which turned out to be long, thick, flexible money belt....presumably filled with cash. Lots and lots of cash.
Mike was nervous and scared. He was a witness, and the cop was a crook.....committing a major felony. The cop slipped 'a tip' into Mike's hand....presumably to shut him up. It turned out the tip was only a lousy twenty bucks - for which Mike experienced "intolerable personal stress and laid his integrity on the line (under duress)."

Mike's parents wanted him to be a doctor, but his college drinking, poor study habits, bad grades, and unpleasant ambulance experiences put the kibosh on that idea....and Mike eventually went into advertising. Still, Mike's ambulance adventures gave him a treasure trove of material to write about, and I enjoyed the stories in this book.

I'd highly recommend the book to readers interested in the subject matter.

Thank you to Little, Brown and Company for a copy of the book.

An easy, entertaining and at times sad read of the life of an EMT in the 1960s, first published in 2018. Makes you wonder how much of the recollections 50 years prior are accurate. Light on philosophical thought; just a simple exposure to death, injury, and tragedy didn't make Mr. Scardino any more appreciative of life. In fact, in quite the opposite he became more fearful because of human fragility and the randomness of all the God forsaken things that can happen to good and bad people.