Endgame: The Calling (Endgame, 1)

I think we know what the pitch for "Endgame: The Calling" was: It's like the Hunger Games, but without the realism! And there are PUZZLES! And a fetch quest!

And sadly, the pitch is all there is to recommend the first book of James Frey and Nils Johnson-Shelton's new series for young adults. The actual execution is like a piece of stale pizza with no sauce -- dry, flavorless and kind of tedious. In addition to the awkward, lifeless writing with its short bland sentences, the characters feel more like game pieces than actual people.

The premise is that there are twelve ancient lineages who have been preparing to save the world for thousands of years... and for some reason, only one person is eligible per line, even though any one person from thousands of years ago is going to have a LOT of descendants. And for some reason, only teens are eligible, even though you would expect people at their peak physical condition to be chosen. But what do I know? Endgame!

Now meteorites are falling on whatever city the ONLY appropriately-aged descendants are living in, signaling the beginning of the vaguely-defined Endgame. Every one of them has been trained in deadly Special-Ops-style combat, so they can kill anyone who gets in their way -- including each other. Their goal: when Endgame starts, they must fetch three keys. And so begins a world-wide, bloody quest for the Great Puzzle of Salvation. If they don't win, they die.

"Endgame: The Calling" is the worst kind of story -- the kind of story that has a brilliant premise... and falls flatter than a tortilla that has been run over by a steamroller. In the hands of a better writer, this would be an epic story. It has backstory that spans all of human civilization, sci-fi/fantasy "Sky People" who have caused all this, a large cast of characters who come from all across the world... it sounds very epic, and a writer like Brandon Sanderson or Garth Nix could have spun a spellbinding tale.

But do we get an epic story? Alas, no. It feels like neither Frey nor Johnson-Shelton even cared.

The biggest problem is the writing, which is as dry and bloodless as a mummy. Often it feels like a screenplay ineptly transformed into a novel -- most of the time, we're simply told the characters' actions and some bland inner descriptions like "she wanted this" or "he didn't like this."

Everything is related in short, clunky sentences in the present tense (presumably a failed attempt at immediacy). They're strung together like dreary little beads ("It's just a gash. It will need stitches, though"), and they never swirl up the passions of the reader. For instance, once scene involves Sarah cheating on her Perfectly Perfect Ken-Doll Boyfriend with one of her rivals, whom she is competing against. How is this conveyed?

"But then they kiss.
And kiss.
And kiss.
And Sarah forgets."

Riveting, isn't it? The heat just radiates off the page.

And Frey and Johnson-Shelton utterly fail at creating any sense of actual tension. The first few chapters contain devastating meteorite strikes that leave countless people dead... and the reaction of all the characters is either glee or dull surprise. Even when a character's brother is impaled on a steel beam and dies in front of her, she barely even seems to care. It's presented in such a dull, vague way that nothing actually seems important.

But that's because these are not characters. They are chess pieces. They are video-game avatars. The backstory, personalities, and experiences of the characters are nonexistent except for their Endrame training. Admittedly it is difficult to flesh out such a large cast, but some of their introductory chapters are only a few pages long -- just long enough to establish the character's nationality/ethnicity, and that they are a main character.

What is there to these people other than their nationality/ethnicity and the fact that they have trained to be in Endgame? Not much. Only one seems to have an actual life outside the Endgame prep, and that is just so her blandly perfect boyfriend can eventually be imperiled.

"Endgame: The Calling" has a shell of a plot, full of the characters' actions and words, but without any kind of narrative soul. The writing is dry, the characters are like paper, and the authors clearly cared about nothing but the movie rights.

All of this whining about how this book is Hunger Games this, or derivative that, is silly. This is an unabashed YA novel with its heart on its sleeve. The YA genre has certain conventions, like any other genre. Science fiction novels are usually set in space, and all romance novels have to have a bad painting of Fabio on the cover. Get. Over. It.

Given its genre, this book is extraordinarily original. It's a mixture of archaeology, anthropology, ancient alien conspiracy theory, and ridiculously kick-ass action. Yes, it's violent. No, it's not over the top. The puzzle stuff IS over my head, but it still gives the book a mysterious texture, and the sense that it's just one part of something much bigger.

If you're looking for the Grapes of Wrath, don't buy a YA novel. If you want a tight, action-packed book with lots of cool history, you won't be disappointed.

3 stars translates -- in star-rating lingo -- as "it's okay". I would like to amend that somewhat and say that I didn't buy this book for its literary merit, but for the encapsulated puzzle. Having decided that I would probably have to hold my nose and read for the sake of "the hunt", I was actually rather pleasantly surprised to find myself wanting to know what happened next as the reading progressed. By the end of Endgame (book 1) I even found myself wanting to read book 2. In fact, were the choice available, I would have given it another half star. For someone who finds most contemporary literature mostly lacking (I am a classical lit devotee) that is saying something indeed. I won't go so far as to say that it is spell-binding or of any particular literary merit, but it did keep my attention more than I thought it would (or could). At any rate, if you like treasure hunts, it's a fun place to practice your solving skills and if you want to read something light with a bit of adventure, it works on that level too. Not Pulitzer material, but worth the price for a quick, fun read. I warn sensitive readers that it is a bit disturbing on the violence score, but nowhere near as bad as I expected from the promotions, and it pales into peaceful insignificance compared to today's video games.

My issues with James Frey aside (hey, we've all made huge, colossal mistakes, but just avoided being called out by Oprah), I gave this book a chance. Maybe because it was in shiny gold packaging and I was blinded by the pretty.

IT HAPPENS, OK? Shiny things distract me!

But after reading - OK, not exactly. A friend of mine stood in the middle of our hotel room and read aloud the preface. I had an open mind here, people. I DID.

And then I realized I had heard this story before.

No, not Hunger Games. I'm taking it way old school. This book was straight up Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. You know, the book Dickens was paid to write by word so it has endless comparisons and metaphors and ... Yeah. So, in the honor of that form of story-telling, here is my review:

It was the worst of books. It was the best of - No, wait. I'm lying.

Let's try this again:

It was confusing, silly, infantile, juvenile (and not in the fun YA-way), wordy, pompous, perplexing, arrogant, bewildering, hopeless, hopeful, brave, weak, and uninspiring.

It is the book that makes me want to forget the English language.

Or any language.

This is a story - one you may have heard before - that has been told better.

But that is all right. Because you will persevere. You will embrace this book and all it holds because you are strong, fearless, timid, scared, blessed, cursed, loved, hated, and-

Seriously. Is anyone still reading this review?

*crickets*

I do urge you to read the prologue/preface/whatever. It will be 3 of the funniest pages you've ever read.

But then run - do not walk - away.

My issues with James Frey aside (hey, we've all made huge, colossal mistakes, but just avoided being called out by Oprah), I gave this book a chance. Maybe because it was in shiny gold packaging and I was blinded by the pretty.

IT HAPPENS, OK? Shiny things distract me!

But after reading - OK, not exactly. A friend of mine stood in the middle of our hotel room and read aloud the preface. I had an open mind here, people. I DID.

And then I realized I had heard this story before.

No, not Hunger Games. I'm taking it way old school. This book was straight up Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. You know, the book Dickens was paid to write by word so it has endless comparisons and metaphors and ... Yeah. So, in the honor of that form of story-telling, here is my review:

It was the worst of books. It was the best of - No, wait. I'm lying.

Let's try this again:

It was confusing, silly, infantile, juvenile (and not in the fun YA-way), wordy, pompous, perplexing, arrogant, bewildering, hopeless, hopeful, brave, weak, and uninspiring.

It is the book that makes me want to forget the English language.

Or any language.

This is a story - one you may have heard before - that has been told better.

But that is all right. Because you will persevere. You will embrace this book and all it holds because you are strong, fearless, timid, scared, blessed, cursed, loved, hated, and-

Seriously. Is anyone still reading this review?

*crickets*

I do urge you to read the prologue/preface/whatever. It will be 3 of the funniest pages you've ever read.

But then run - do not walk - away.

This book is a terrible read. I was assigned to read it for a class I was in due to its interesting use of the internet and social media to contribute to the story, but it's so badly done I just couldn't get through it. The prose itself is written on a level more appropriate of upper elementary-schoolers, and the story and characters are very difficult to become immersed in. Additionally, the "extra" materials, such as the characters' Twitter accounts, read exactly like they are--random adults who are trying WAYY too hard to sound like "hip teenagers." It's all so cringey and painful to get through.

The concept is extremely interesting, if only it had been written well.

I had great hopes for the plot line but the motivations of the characters are hard to understand. None of them are likable. By the end of the book I was ready for them all to be killed (Luckily, many were).
This book is also annoying because it is clearly planned to be at least a trilogy. Hopefully, it well sell few enough copies that the publisher won't bother.
Also, why the gratuitous frequent use of the F word? Is this supposed to make it seem realistic? I have read many (better) novels for young adults, none of which required this type of graphic language.

I was so hoping this book would be good, but instead, it is all written in present tense. It's extremely distracting, and after the first several chapters, I just couldn't read any more. Not well written.

This book weaves together a cast of young and fallible characters, hailing from all Earth’s continents, to fight together in a death match for what essentially amounts to inheritance of the planet. Some reviewers have compared the book’s overarching premise of teens fighting to the death, along with the clearest protagonist being a 16-year-old American girl, as a comparison against the Hunger Games series. I can see that from a superficial perspective, but really that's where the similarity ends. Suzanne Collins’ world is well-conceived, but so far dystopian and intentionally vague on geographic details that the world we currently live in is not recognizable, rooting it firmly in an imaginary history and mythology - which works perfectly with her keen and focused character development.

For this series, Frey uses a variety of real life historic structures as the setting for the characters’ interchanges; locations which have long held significance for enthusiasts of the ancient astronaut (alien) theory. Whether one believes those theories or not, the history behind these ancient megaliths and monuments is fascinating; even more so when they are in more far-flung areas of the world such as Turkey or China. I found myself looking up information about all the locations as the events transpired in the first book, which increased my knowledge of each and my overall wanderlust. Some people have said it’s too confusing to have so many people and locations, but it’s really not if you pay attention and look up the places he talks about - they all exist. And now, I want to visit them.

As far as the characterization goes, I agree with some of the reviews that there could be further development. However there are many characters in this first book, most of which came from a wild array of cultures and schools of thought, so I was satisfied with what I learned about each. Frey did a good job conveying the workings of each character's inner mind (even if you hated them because of that very reason). I have no doubt that as the series progresses, we’ll learn even more about the surviving ones, like them or not.

The writing itself has also been highly criticized, mostly due to Frey’s use of extremely short sentences. For my part, I value the short sentence. Not everyone needs to be Nathaniel Hawthorne, and I found this method of writing (short thought bursts inside a stream-of-conscious structure) direct and useful when reading the thoughts of these young characters.

For its technical issues, I would have given give the book three stars - but because I found myself utterly engrossed, inspired, and somewhat obsessed about all the things it discussed, both during and for weeks after reading it, I give it four stars. I'm looking forward to the next installment!

According to the blurb, ENDGAME is many things. They forgot to mention it was boring. And gimmicky.