Murdering My Youth: A Memoir

I am not a viewer of soap operas, I did not even know who Cady McClain even was. I ordered the book simply because it looked like her story and mine would be similar. She describes with dynamic lyrical eloquence her journey through sexual abuse as a child, an absent father, and an alcoholic mother that she supports.

Her mother not only "takes all her earnings" but literally "owns" her freedom even into adulthood; telling her how to dress, instructing her on the fine art of HER (the mother's) way of decorating, and who to see and what do do to get ahead, all in the mother's best interests. Cady spends her days outwardly as an actress, but internally, her soul belongs to those things external to her. The only freedom she achieves is when her mother passes. At that time, she feels a mix of sadness and relief, and finally achieves her long sought freedom.

The author stresses several important points in this book in the interest of finding the self; one is the cohesiveness and unconditional love found in the 12-step programs, the importance of long-term therapy to put the chaos into perspective, and the importance of finally achieving forgiveness by realizing, to quote her, "....Now I have both pity and compassion for both my parents. I can even forgive them. I can do this because I recognize they simply did not know how to love any better than they did." When this epiphany is achieved, forgiveness can begin to occur. We cannot love others unconditionally unless we ourselves were raised with unconditional love, and some poor souls have no cognizance as to how this is done.

This is a must read book. I wept, I chuckled, I identified with many of the author's emotions. I am certain, dear readers, you will too.

Cady McClain is a hero. I just read her captivating, heart numbing, often funny, honest, wise, and beautifully written book. I am speechless. It takes courage and gusto and determination to reveal such a profoundly sad, yet hopeful story about one's younger, formative years onto the page. Not only does she recount intimate details of what transpired during her childhood, which in of itself are brutal and unimaginable, she manages to write about it with clarity, depth, and introspection. I highly recommend this memoir to anyone who has been abused, overlooked, mistreated, who has been misunderstood, who was forced to grow up quickly, who was able to pick themselves up, growing more resilient, and strong during the process. I also recommend it to those seeking inspiration. Cady is one of those rare forces who encourages that it is okay to be you, with all of your thoughts, emotions, anger, joy, and vulnerability, to live the life you desire, against all odds, and to own the feelings you have. Apart from an impeccable acting career, she has yet another gift: writing. If you are seeking a book that cannot be put down, look no further; this is the one.

I just finished reading Murdering My Youth: A Memoir. Once I started, it was hard to put down. Cady is an amazing writer and I knew that from reading some of her blog posts. Even knowing that, I was surprised at how compelling this book is. She wrote from her heart about her traumatic childhood and the resulting difficulties she had finding her way to the strong confident woman she is today. As a fan of hers from her Dixie days, I had no clue what a struggle she had outside of the studio where she worked. After reading her story, I have an even greater respect for her. My heart broke for the little girl who had to grow up too fast. I loved seeing the photos in the back pages of the book which I hadn't expected, an extra treat. I'm glad I purchased the book and feel like it was money well spent. I highly recommend it. She's refreshingly honest but not at all self-pitying...more like "This is how it was and I'm OK now". She gives hope that no matter how tough your life is, you can survive, and you can find happiness.

Wow! What a youth and young adulthood Ms. McClain lived through! She has such strength and a positive attitude that most times don't come together. She has broken those chains and can live the sweet life she deserves to have! This book was a real page turner, I could not put it down until I read the entire book. I believe the book could have been proof read better, but content and the way her life is told gives it the 5 stars.

This book is not for the faint of heart and, as Cady warned in the beginning pages, can be extremely triggering. However, if you can muster up the courage to set aside an evening or two to learn her story, I guarantee you will not regret it. Vivid re-tellings of sexual and verbal abuse, adolescent alcoholism and traumatizing encounters as a young actress read like a therapy session. And while it is considered a memoir, there are touches of personal self-help lessons and ideas that make you feel as if you're sitting across the table from Cady herself. You will laugh hysterically at some parts, wipe away tears with your jaw dropped in others and may even have to set the book aside to regroup for a few moments but it is all worth it to see this courageous woman come stunningly into her own. Truly fascinating, witty and extremely well-written, Murdering My Youth is absolutely worth the read. You may even find yourself never complaining about your own mother ever again. Or, at least, being a little kinder to your therapist next session.

This book is amazing. I couldn't put it down. I was completely unprepared for what I was about to read and learn.
What an incredible journey Cady has made. Her writing is so good that I felt like I was sitting with her and she was telling me this gripping story.
Fantastic!
Michelle

Full disclosure: I am a mental health professional. I have enjoyed Ms McClain in her TV roles but I do not personally know her.

I had difficulty engaging with this work as I sensed quite a bit of embellishment for dramatic effect. It was quite over the top. The story strains credulity and much of it didn't add up, reminiscent of many soap-opera story lines. Given the way human memory works, this may be the way Ms McClain truly remembers her youth, but it made for a poor reading experience. Nothing here seems witty or funny, rather it verges on the pathetic. The book rambles about with no particular agenda other than to expose the dysfunctional relationship the author had with her mother, who was controlling and disturbed. There is no mention here of healing from childhood abuse, instead the abuse was terminated by the mother's death. One gets the sense that if the mother were still alive, Ms McClain would probably still be under her spell. I would have enjoyed a bit more focus on the All My Children role, or more details on how the author overcame her dysfunctional childhood. Unfortunately, there is little inspiration here for the recovering abuse victim.
Nevertheless, I wish Ms McClain well in her marriage and all future endeavors.

This book is so compelling. The stories that Cady shares are personal and painful. It's not at all what I expected and I am glad it wasn't. I was expecting stories of abuse, based on the book description. I also thought there would be more about her experience on soaps. Even though I have followed her career on soaps, I'm glad she poured so much of her life struggles into the book. The soap part is better left for magazines.

Frankly, this is not the type is book I typically read. Maybe, her Facebook posts wore me down and I finally purchased the book. Even as I read, I kept finding myself compelled by her story. I could relate to her struggles with depression. For anyone who didn't grow up in a perfect home, her quote on p. 204 may touch their hearts. It did mine. Cady writes,"I now believe that what was "different" about my family is what is common in all families who suffer internal emotional conflicts: when it is most important to have safety and security from our most intimate of relationships, we do not connect on the most fundamental level. Instead we duck and thrust and parry, like sword fighters in a pirate picture, thinking the fun is in the game but it's not."

This book is written by someone who happens to be a spectacularly talented soap actress. It's not a tell all about the industry. It's an intensely raw, beautiful reminder that the people we idolize on screen are just actors. Their real life stories may be more moving than anything that can come from the imagination of a screenwriter or playwright.

Thank you, Cady.

I'm giving this book five stars not just because of the story itself, and I'm not just giving it because Cady is a soap star. I think if you are someone who wants to read this book you should want to know Cady for more than what you see through TV or what you've heard. I'm not family, and I'm not really a close friend, but I've had a chance to know Cady, and her and I have shared our struggles over the years. If you read this book, know that it wasn't an easy write as much as it's not an easy read. The person who wrote it went through months of having to rehash all of it and probably had to take a breath each time she wrote a word. I also want to say while Cady's family also wrote a review on here...it is not helpful, because it's only a perspective...and it's their perspective.
So if you choose to read this book...read it with the perspective of what if it was you...and I promise you that you'll probably learn something about yourself too along the journey of reading it. Thanks Cady for all your words of encouragement over the years, I'm one that sees what you have been through and knows you've been made whole and beautiful through it all. Job well done :-)

I picked up Cady McClain's memoir after starting to watch her recently in her new role on Y&R. I was interested to read about her experiences as a child actress in Hollywood. And although she covers that and give you some insight into young actors in Hollywood, this book is really about Cady's family. The story she tells is sad, devastating, frightening, but also inspiring because of how she managed to survive it all and find her own path in life. I found her story gripping and well-written, and I really admire her honesty in revealing a lot of stuff that is very private and potentially embarrassing. Well done, Cady!