"For far too long the evangelical church in America has nurtured and supported narcissism in our leadership. The addiction to platforms, influence, new ideas, as well as unbiblical definitions of leadership, authority, and power has sustained a structure that dehumanizes our leaders and exploits God's people. When Narcissism Comes to Church is an important book in a season when we must ask deeper questions of the very structure, metrics, motivations, and means to the work we set out to do in the name of Christ. Dr. DeGroat does not merely point a finger at narcissistic leaders, but asks us to consider these individuals in our church as fruit of a more fundamental problem in the American church. May we have ears to hear, humility to repent, and courage to respond." -- Dennae Pierre, director, City to City North America, Surge Network leadership team "Hiring (marrying, working with or for, being pastored by) a narcissist is like building a home in an alluvial plain. The ground is gorgeous but in due season the flood will devour all you have worked so hard to create. Chuck DeGroat pierces the glittering image of narcissism and brilliantly exposes the inner workings of an empty, shame-filled heart and the devastating consequences of Christians being so drawn to narcissists in the church and in politics. This is a landmark work full of wisdom, tenderness, honor, and hope. If we want to offer a narcissistic culture hope in the gospel, we must tend to the narcissism deeply embedded in our own believing community. This is a profound call for a radical culture shift―truly a must-read." -- Dan B. Allender, professor of counseling psychology and founding president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, author of The Wounded Heart and Healing the Wounded Heart "In the work of the soul, we name things to tame things. And there is nothing that is more in need of taming than the rampant narcissism that is not just a part of our cultural landscape but is hiding in plain sight in my own life. With When Narcissism Comes to Church , Chuck DeGroat unflinchingly names the subject for the leviathan it is, while offering hope in real, embodied stories of redemption. Comprehensive in scope, accessible in application, and generously kind in spirit, this book will provide pastor and laity alike the wisdom and courage that is necessary for the healing and recommissioning of the church's soul for years to come." -- Curt Thompson, psychiatrist, author of The Soul of Shame and Anatomy of the Soul "I am grateful that Chuck DeGroat wrote this book. He is the best person I could imagine to write it and the person I would want as a guide on this issue. Chuck has a wealth of wisdom to offer as he has counseled those with narcissistic personality disorder as well as the those deeply wounded by narcissistic leaders. This book is filled with compassion for both narcissists and those affected by the destructive power of narcissism." -- Justin S. Holcomb, Episcopal priest, seminary professor, and coauthor of Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault "If you wonder why family and friends have left the church or why you often feel more lost than found when you step into the sanctuary, this book is for you. Whether you're the pastor or the parishioner, Chuck DeGroat, asks the stark-raving honest questions about church and church leadership that most of us are afraid to voice, even though they simmer in our hearts and leave us hot with confusion and emptiness. This book will not challenge you to pick up stones and throw them through stained-glass windows, but it will engage you to look within and find your true North Star to follow through the wilderness of church to an authentic spirituality of living, serving, worshipping, inviting, and communing in love tethered to something far greater than our small denominations, building programs, or evangelism crusades―to Someone far greater than ourselves." -- Sharon A. Hersh, therapist and author of The Last Addiction: Why Self-Help is Not "Why are we just beginning to talk about narcissism in our spiritual leaders? Chuck DeGroat believes it is because we have been rewarding it in our churches. He is powerfully and painfully right! More than just calling out narcissism, DeGroat skillfully unpacks how it shows up in leaders of large and small churches, beloved Christian celebrities, and seemingly godly men and women. When Narcissism Comes to Church peels back the layers, ever so carefully on our 'real selves.' We need this pastoral-surgical work. Trust the sage guidance offered by Chuck DeGroat, taking us through our illusions into the healing our souls and systems desperately need." -- Dan White Jr., author of Love Over Fear, cofounder of the Praxis Gathering "If you, like so many, have been lured in by the shiny veneer of narcissism only to be left shattered, confused, and filled with shame, you will find help in these pages. In When Narcissism Comes to Church , Chuck DeGroat nimbly pulls back the veil―exposing the many faces of narcissism and helping us see what lies underneath. Drawing on decades of experience, DeGroat writes with honesty, wisdom, and compassion, providing help for the wounded and hope for the church." -- Alison Cook, therapist and coauthor of Boundaries for Your Soul "A book on this topic is desperately needed right now. But more than that, we need a deeply thoughtful treatise on this subject that also points a healthy way forward. This is that book. Every one of us can learn something from Chuck's words, but more importantly we can gain the courage needed to face this destructive force in our churches." -- Nancy Ortberg, CEO of Transforming the Bay with Christ " When Narcissism Comes to Church proves what many of us have known for years―that Chuck DeGroat is a skilled surgeon of the soul. His newest book―twenty years in the making―is the definitive 'surgical text' for diagnosing and treating the soul of narcissistic leaders. Layer upon layer, he deftly reveals how narcissism develops, why it's so prevalent in church leadership, and how it traumatizes church communities. The greatest gift of this book, however, is that as DeGroat skillfully exposes the primal wound far below the surface of narcissism, he gently helps each one of us see the pain and wounding in our own soul. Not since Henri Nouwen's classic book The Wounded Healer have I encountered such an essential book on leadership." -- Michael John Cusick, founder and CEO of Restoring the Soul, author of Surfing for God " When Narcissism Comes to Church excellently articulates God's gracious call to come back to the way, the truth, and the life. Through experience and with expertise, Chuck DeGroat guides us through the darkness of our self-obsessed culture. The light of this book helpfully exposes sickness that exists in much of our church leadership. May God use this work to lead us to repentance." -- Tyler Johnson, lead pastor of Redemption Church Arizona "Reading this book, you begin to realize that DeGroat's work and diagnosis come from years of having his stethoscope on the church's pulse. He proves to be a seasoned churchman―understanding and working within churches, seminaries, denominations, and networks―but also a competent spiritual director in leading us toward healing." -- John Starke, lead pastor of Apostles Church Uptown in New York City, author of The Possibility of Prayer "Reading this book, you begin to realize that DeGroat's work and diagnosis come from years of having his stethoscope on the church's pulse. He proves to be a seasoned churchman―understanding and working within churches, seminaries, denominations, and networks―but also a competent spiritual director in leading us toward healing." -- John Starke, lead pastor of Apostles Church Uptown in New York City, author of The Possibility of Prayer Chuck DeGroat (LPC, PhD) is professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, and senior fellow at Newbigin House of Studies in San Francisco. He served as a pastor at churches in Orlando and San Francisco and founded two church-based counseling centers. He is a licensed therapist, spiritual director, and the author of Toughest People to Love and Wholeheartedness . Read more
Features & Highlights
Christian Book Award® program
Outreach
Resource of the Year
Why does narcissism seem to thrive in our churches?
We've seen the news stories. Maybe we ourselves have been hurt by a narcissistic church leader. But what
is
narcissism, really? And how does it infiltrate the church?
Chuck DeGroat has been counseling pastors with narcissistic personality disorder, as well as those wounded by narcissistic leaders and systems, for over twenty years. He knows firsthand the devastation narcissism leaves in its wake and how insidious and painful it is. In
When Narcissism Comes to Church
, DeGroat takes a close look at narcissism, not only in ministry leaders but also in church systems. He offers compassion and hope for those affected by its destructive power and imparts wise counsel for churches looking to heal from its systemic effects.
DeGroat also offers hope for narcissists themselves―not by any shortcut, but by the long, slow road of genuine recovery through repentance and trust in the gospel of Jesus.
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★★★★★
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“Narcissism is the longing to be freed from longing.”
“Narcissism is the longing to be freed from longing.”
With these words, Chuck DeGroat unveils one of the most important works on practical ministry I have read. It is a book on narcissism in the church.
For some this will be a new concept; for others, it will reopen a great many painful and inexplicable wounds that they were given at the house of their friends. The idea that a pastor, a spiritual shepherd of the church, could be a psychological manipulator along the lines of an OJ Simpson or a Donald Trump is abhorrent to anyone, not just to faithful churchgoers. But for those few who have sincerely loved someone in ministry and have had their relationships (and maybe even their lives) irretrievably shattered by that person’s malignant narcissism, this book will be a warm light shining into a very dark place.
Narcissism involves the tendency we all have to some extent to consider ourselves of greater importance than we actually are, and to rearrange our lives in such a way that our “false self” begins to be more visible to others and our “true self” begins to be less visible. This allows us to maintain certain positive illusions that tend to our own perceived best interests, and helps us avoid having to reckon with the consequences of the negative actions we are ashamed of and have hidden deep inside us. For any human being this is an unhealthy thing; but for Christians it is extraordinarily dangerous, and for Christian leaders it can be incredibly destructive. And the most astonishing thing about what makes it work – for years and years, in good, Gospel-believing churches – is how invisible these dynamics can be.
With When Narcissism Comes to Church, Chuck lays out a scholarly, pastoral treatment of a subject that has been hinted at in many spheres but has never (to my knowledge) been dealt with in such a thoroughgoing manner. It is evident from the care he takes with his words and the many deliberate spectrums he works along, e.g. individual narcissism vs. systemic narcissism, stylistic vs. pathological, self-protective vs. overtly abusive, etc. that he genuinely cares not only about the victims of narcissistic spiritual abuse but about those who have been guilty of perpetrating their hidden fear and shame on those victims. To be sure his words to the guilty are direct and unapologetic, and his words for the innocent are tender and uplifting, but even in this it is a beautiful picture of the heart of Jesus, who calls every self-serving one of us to lay down our masks and open our hearts to Him.
And it is well that he is able to direct his ministry to both sides. For when a disciple of Jesus experiences the shock of the first realization that their pastor has knowingly betrayed them, and when that is followed with the higher shock that nobody is going to believe their story because the pastor has power over people’s perception of the event, and when that is followed with the final shock that most of those perceptions will forever view them as the problem for no better reason than that they told the truth, it is a devastating spiritual cocktail that can put their life in a downward spiral for a very long time. Boundaries and healing must become their primary focus, if they are taking good counsel, and forgiving someone who refuses to tell the truth about what happened and has no interest in reconciling can be almost impossible. The best they can often do is to leave it at the Cross and go on with their lives.
Chuck brings a calm, caring, thoughtful style that for any reader with personal experience will prompt them to the welcoming realization of “Oh – wait – he’s actually seen this happen! And he’s not afraid to actually call it what it is. And his voice carries weight. And maybe, someday, the leaders of my church will actually listen to him!” There are no words to explain how helpful this is to a sufferer, unless perhaps it be the blessed Comfort, comfort ye of the prophet Isaiah. And it is truly Isaiah’s hope of the Word of the Lord standing forever that brings us comfort, when sin has made all of our lips unclean.
The ubiquity of the problem is surely what makes it so grievous. As Chuck points out, ministry in our society has a unique magnetism to the narcissistic personality, for who else would want to speak on behalf of God every week? And what better culture for that to grow in than a materialistic, driven setting where truth is so quietly and brutally punished and convincing outward appearances are so visibly rewarded? It is this combination of power and position that makes an opportunity for spiritual abuse, and the words Chuck uses to describe it are indicative of one who has seen very bad things go down in the church. He lays out the nine faces of narcissism with a wise warning not to use them as a way to vindictively or thoughtlessly pigeonhole someone else, but everyone who has been affected will probably be impacted by at least one of the psychological sketches. They are real; and if we are honest, each of us will see something of ourselves in them too.
The irony of seeing those two worlds coming together, the world of unrepentant self-love and the eternal Kingdom of God, is what makes the idea of pastoral narcissism so difficult for us to conceive of. We all have a deep-seated need to believe that our pastor could not be guilty of such evil. No two points of view are more diametrically opposed than that of callously using others as a step to trample on to obtain the desires of the world, juxtaposed with that of fearlessly proclaiming the glories of the grace of Jesus Christ in an unassailable pulpit every week. To such blatant, public unbelief Chuck brings the only real corrective there can possibly be: The searing white-hot truth of the very Word of God we preach from every week, applied with all the tenderness and Christlike compassion he can muster. And to those who have been trampled on the way he stops to extend a hand of mercy, coupled with a heart for them that could only be sincerely felt by one who has seen for himself the trail of hurt sheep so cruelly left by the shepherds in the masks.
It’s the words he uses that show us unquestionably what he has seen: Cruel, manipulative, impatient, praising/withdrawing, intimidated/intimidating, steel-eyed, devious, exploitative, grandiose. Perhaps the most revealing is one he probably totally made up: Fauxnerability. This is no scholarly work that took shape in a dusty library high in an ivory tower. It is notes from the trenches, smeared with blood and dripped with tears, most likely used to bandage up somebody’s broken arm once or twice, certainly gripped and mangled during hours of anguished prayer while counseling people through their heartache, and barely unfolded and straightened out long enough to make it to the publisher’s.
Listen to him. Read the stories. Hurt with them. Hope with them. Catch a glimpse of Jesus as He lashes out in anger at those who would oppress others with burdens of spiritual falsehood, and as He speaks in deepest compassion to the poor in spirit for whom He will eventually take all the burden of the narcissism and evil in the world on His shoulders. And as you do, enter freely into the longing that Chuck unveils for us – the longing for our Promised Land, for our first fleeting glimpse of hope that our faithful Lord will someday make all things new.
JV
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How Narcissism Harms the Church and How the Church Can Heal from Abuse
“Narcissistic pastors are anxious and insecure shepherds who do not lead the sheep to still waters but into hurricane winds,” writes Christian psychologist Chuck DeGroat. In this book, DeGroat draws on his extensive counseling experience and academic research to illuminate narcissism in all its variety, demonstrate its negative effects on both church members and church systems, and outline a plan for healing its victims, including the narcissists themselves. The good news? The “radically humble, self-giving way” of Jesus Christ.
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Helpful; Confirming; Compassionate; Fair-minded, as we are all created in the image of God
The author's style is concise, humble, easy to comprehend, and confirming to my own experience. I needed a book that did not let the pastor predator off the hook, but also gave compassionate and humble understandings in order to move forward, in the absence of justice or repentance.
The tie of APD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) to malignant narcissism, sometimes called sociopathy, was proposed on page 41. Although I have read other books, this was the first time I saw the explanation quoted below. It is the main reason for why I can highly recommend the perspective of this author. He gets it. He is an expert on narcissistic patterns of behavior. He has counseled those with NPD, as well as their targets, for many years.
From page 41: "Prone to callous indifference, manipulation, and rule breaking, APD shows up often among pastoral predators who use and abuse their power to exploit others. Those with APD appear shameless. They often act with a belief that they won't be caught, or that they are above accountability or consequences. An even more pronounced narcissism, APD, may appear arrogant yet charming, manipulative yet convincing, exciting yet dangerous. Those drawn into the gravitational field of someone with APD are often highly susceptible to their powerful, confident, and seemingly infallible persona. But the relational debris they leave behind them may be their ultimate downfall."
The nine faces of narcissism included in this book were both confirming and compassionate. The author wove gentle, humble reminders throughout the book that even those involved in inflicting serious trauma, and then covering their behavior, are still created in the image of God. Chuck DeGroat gives hopeful counsel, because a lot of writing insists that long-term change is not possible. Still, with God, all things are possible. It is the compassionate, forgiving thing to cooperate with whatever safe possibility there is of change, although sincere change will not happen quickly, and the voice of the target should not be excused.
Chuck DeGroat goes into depth about how to recognize a narcissistic system, versus a biblical, healthy church. This is very needed on behalf of those who have been traumatized by bad shepherds. A wolf does not get away with ongoing destruction unless he has been allowed to function within a top down system of control where accountability is absent. (The author points to the frequency of this in church plant situations.) The target will simply be viewed as someone who is "blowing it out of proportion", and it will add to the whole traumatic experience.
In order for this to be remedied, there must be a willingness to seek truth, listen, grieve, reflect, and view narcissistic behavior clearly. In order for healing and transformation to happen, it first of all has to be assessed honestly, and recognized.
This book is very timely. Spirit-filled people have spirit-filled discernment and should not be excusing things that do not seem quite right, just because someone is a pastor or church leader. The reputation of Jesus matters, as do the reputations of our brothers and sisters. I Corinthians 14:40 reminds us that all things should be done in a proper, orderly, decent manner. Thank you, Churck DeGroat for your wisdom and experience.
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An insightful and engaging blueprint for recognizing narcissistic tendencies.
Generations of church-goers have been trained to overlook problems and to accept that all pastors, teacher, missionaries and deacons are looking out for the souls of their followers. Many of those who question the actions of their spiritual leaders are immediately shut down, criticized, or shunned. Leaders reiterate to others in the congregation that those in charge have been put there by God Himself and should not be criticized or questioned.
DeGroat goes beyond the usual instances of the charismatic and charming, yet also terrifying and disrespectful, men and women in charge, and looks behind the curtain at the narcissistic systems that allow them to thrive at the expense of their staff's and congregation's physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional health.
A must read for all church members AND leaders.
★★★★★
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Excellent
Excellent. Great blend of psychology, theology, and Bible, with illuminating (anonymous) case studies throughout.
★★★★★
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Easily Readable and Reasonably Attainable
Just like taking an abnormal psych class in college, a reader will likely see their reflection on many pages in the 200-page hardback "When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community from Emotional and Spiritual Abuse". This newly released dossier, written by Chuck DeGroat, professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, and senior fellow at Newbigin House of Studies in San Francisco, is a velvet covered brick. It is easily readable, and reasonably attainable.
DeGroat exposes the varied ways narcissism shows up in a parish, whether in the leadership, families, or congregational culture; and how it can show up in the corporate culture of an ecclesiastical denomination, association or network. It arises from the "lack of capacity for self-awareness and self-evaluation, shunning humility for defensive self-protection" (15). Further, according to the author, a deep, underlying shame is the driving force in narcissism (41), and a grasping for power is it's major dynamic (94). And when this shows up in the leadership, it becomes relationally ugly, where many narcissistic pastors "have little ability to empower others in meaningful ways" and "power, privilege, and entitlement are expressed in toxic ways" so that the "things he feels entitled to become extensions of his ego" (74-5). The two crucial chapters that tease out narcissistic traits, especially in leadership, are the 3rd and 4th, "The Nine Faces of Narcissism" and "Characteristics of the Narcissistic Pastor". Every pastoral search committee should examine these chapters to help them as they strive to discern a candidate's qualifications for their congregation.
If a reader has been impacted by, or studied, abusive people - spouses, parents, supervisors - they will find a hand-in-glove connection between the traits of an abuser and the characteristics of a narcissist. The gaslighting, history-twisting, browbeating, crazy-making, manipulating, retaliating, polarizing, domineering-to-secure-victory ploys of an abuser look oddly similar to a narcissist. Further, I will make so bold as to say, if, as you read this volume, you aren't finding yourself doing some self-evaluating, meaningful repenting, and behavior changing, you are likely part of the disease and not part of the remedy.
For a few there will be little niggling nicks and pricks as they read through the book. If a reader is a complimentarian, the egalitarian approach of the author may disappoint them here and there, but it is not overbearing or hobbyhorse-ish. And there's hope a-plenty in these pages. Not an easy peasy kind of hope, but rugged and resilient, because "God who refuses to reduce anyone to a label...both confronts sin with utter seriousness and offers grace with utter lavishness" (149).
"When Narcissism Comes to Church" is a valuable resource. It needs to be read by all levels of ecclesiastical leadership. It must be in the hands of every pastoral search committee. And if you have been on the receiving end of a narcissist, this manuscript has a lot to give you for your own restoration and recovery. I highly recommend the book.
My thanks to IVP. I asked for the book to review and they freely sent me the copy used for this assessment. Moreover, they made no demands or stipulations and allowed me free rein. Thus, my evaluations are freely made and freely given.
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INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR
Moore: You mention that you have been thinking about the topic of narcissism in the church for twenty years. Why did you decide to write a book on the subject?
DeGroat: Early on, I began seeing cases of emotional and spiritual abuse among church elders and leaders and discovered the harsh repercussions of naming these sins. The ecclesial world I was in boasted of its church planting success and fidelity to God’s word, but I’m confident I’m not the only one who heard of and witnessed stories of profoundly unhealthy pastors and churches where emotional and spiritual abuse, sexual manipulation and assault, gaslighting, and more went unchecked. In the past five years or so, we’ve heard of high-profile ecclesial leaders who’ve violated the sacred trust of pastoral care and leadership, motivating me to write a book which serves as a kind of roadmap to understanding narcissism, abuse, and the devastating impact on God’s people.
Moore: A few times we see Christopher Lasch’s line in your book that narcissists have a “longing to be free from longing.” Would you unpack a bit what Lasch meant with those trenchant words?
DeGroat: My simple take is that Lasch describes the age-old problem of power and control. We are creatures designed to desire, created to long, but prone to control. This goes back to Gen. 3, of course, and manifests across the ages in pastoral and ecclesial temptations to power, dominance, victory, conquest, and empire. The way of Jesus runs counter to this, inviting us to humility, surrender, poverty of spirit. But those who are diagnosably narcissistic long to be freed from this burden of surrendering, waiting, longing.
Moore: How common is narcissism, and is church life populated by more, less, or the same amount of narcissists as the population at large?
DeGroat: This is a tough question, because we’re largely without good data on this. My own assessment work reveals a startling reality – the large majority of my candidates test within the “Cluster B” grouping of personality disorders, featuring narcissistic traits. This doesn’t mean that they’re all narcissistically disordered, but it does prompt a question that a veteran seminary colleague raised to me after 30 years of observing this kind of testing for pastoral candidates – Is it a coincidence that the majority of students test on the narcissistic spectrum when the job asks us to say “This is the word of the Lord”?
Moore: I mentioned to you via email that I am not a cynic about God effecting deep change in people, but when it comes to narcissists my faith gets tested. The narcissists I’ve known remain so. There may be slight modifications in behavior, but the habituated patterns of abuse continue. How common is it to see a narcissist deeply change for the better?
DeGroat: This is a tricky question. When it comes to those who elevate on the spectrum to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), you’re right – we see very little change, if any. Sadly, they’re often so self-protected and addicted that they’ll protect their ego at all costs. However, narcissism exists on a spectrum. I’m sure we all know many folks with narcissistic traits. But the difference is often seen in one’s capacity to self-reflect, to confess with honesty, to empathize with someone they’ve impacted with their narcissistic behaviors. I don’t discount at all the possibility of real change for these folks, while remaining (like you!) quite agnostic when it comes to real change in someone with NPD.
Moore: This question is one I could easily be misunderstood on, but my curiosity presses me on! Could there a place for mockery when it comes to narcissists? That is, are there ever times when clever, even humorous mockery may cause a narcissist to realize how idiotic and inappropriate their behavior? I am not convinced that our present arsenal of tools in dealing with narcissists is doing a ton of good. Perhaps we need to be more nimble and get more creative!
DeGroat: You’re not entirely off-base here! I remember sitting with a leader of a large Christian organization. His narcissism was catching up with him. The walls were closing in. Strategies of behind-the-scenes scheming weren’t working anymore. I stumbled into an unintentional bit of humor when I said, “Man, you’re not really as good as you thought you were at chess!” I was attempting a lighter form of exposure. He sat quietly, but quickly broke out in tearful laughter. Using a choice explicative, he said, “I’ve always *&%$# hated the game of chess!” And somehow, this little breakthrough led to extraordinary self-revelation. He was so exhausted. He gave up the game, quit the ministry, and worked toward reconciliation with his wife. It was quite beautiful.
Moore: Years ago, I heard a Christian leader tell a large group of people that you are “either with us or you should consider going somewhere else.” In the providence of God, I had just studied I Ki. 22 where the prophet Micaiah tells Jehoshaphat the hard truth. I told this Christian leader that he gave a false dichotomy in that one should be able to disagree, yet not get dubbed disloyal. He reluctantly acknowledged his error. How would you recommend responding to a narcissist who pronounces that it is either his way or the highway?
DeGroat: This is hard. Those with NPD are not afraid of verbal combat. They love it, in fact. They might pounce on the chance of a debate. You’re right – narcissists demand loyalty. But remember that deep fear and shame lie beneath this. Ultimately, they’re afraid of being alone, unloved, unseen. If you think you’re in a troubling dynamic with a narcissist, I’d recommend finding a therapist who gets these dynamics. Don’t go in alone. Think carefully about what you need, and then with wise counsel decide whether or not you want to engage.
Moore: What are two or three things you hope your readers take from your book?
DeGroat: First, I hope readers realize they’re not crazy. So many have already said, “You’ve helped me understand a crazy-making situation.” Second, I hope they find accessible words to put around sometimes complex experiences. In this, the book offers a lot of boxes to fit experiences in to. Finally, I hope the reader finds hope. While pastors and churches may operate according to dynamics of power and control, Jesus invites us to a radically alternative way of living and relating. I hope that those who’ve been hurt by the church or church leaders don’t lose hope in the one who life and death witness to a better way for all of us.
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Short but Substantial Resource
This insightful little book is more than worth the price tag and time investment. I have personally found all of Chuck DeGroat’s books to be timely and edifying—some even transformative (if you have not read Leaving Egypt, I highly recommend it). The material in When Narcissism Comes to Church is incredibly helpful and widely applicable. It shines light not only on the true roots of narcissism, but also its different faces and how we all experience aspects of it in various ways. While this book has been somewhat less personally renewing for me than Leaving Egypt, it is no less eye-opening, and I believe it has the potential to be incredibly healing for those who’ve experienced spiritual and emotional abuse (particularly within the Church). I recommend it wholeheartedly!
