A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children

Basically Dr. Phil for parents of very bright and talented kids. When a guy is advertised as a renowned whatever, stop and think a bit about what kind of industry it is, being renowned, and what it takes to go make hay out of it. You get your actually-renowned people who're just flat-out brilliant and find the renowned bit an offensive interference with actual work, and don't become recluses only because renowned = federal grant funding. Then you get people who're very good at whatever they do and work like the devil to be corporate-type successes in their field, and they've got a whole machine and lots of politics to go with, and they're usually pretty sharp-eyed because they don't want anyone getting ahead of them, so they plot and plan for awards and prizes and all the things that just drop into the laps of the brilliant who haven't actively angered too many people.

And then you get the small ponds. Psychotherapy for the gifted is a pretty small pond, and when you get something like that you really have to be careful, because you're dealing with a little club of people doing something off to the side. And they'll sometimes grab hold of someone perfectly ordinary, really not all that insightful or sharp, only because he's what's available, and then promote him as their expert. And part of the promotion means "we're a real serious pond, look, we have real experts". If he's an honest guy, he'll say, you know, look, I'm not really all that good at this, I just happen to be one of few people working this territory. Because it's quite unusual for a very, very sharp and insightful guy to be out in the wilderness really driving it home *and* get around to all this renowned business.

What I would do instead, if I were you, is go find the quiet guidance counselor or teacher or whoever who actually works with these kids in your area and is articulate and modest, and be in the habit of visiting, and saying, "so...what about this? and what about that?" And read books written by deep, bright people for a general audience. A Sand County Almanac is a good place to start, and so's To Kill A Mockingbird, and most of the books that would've been on any high-school reading list 30 years ago. Go to places where bright people are expressing complex thoughts in relatively plain but original language. If you must read psychotherapy, I'd suggest Irwin Yalom, who appreciates life's complexity.

And that's really the killer, innit? A guy like this will give you platitudes and bullet points if you want. But that's not where your kid lives, and fortunately or not, his neighborhood doesn't reduce.

This book is awesome. I gave it to my parents too so they could understand their grandchild (and perhaps themselves) better. I was turned on to it when I joined a study/support group organized by my son's school with this as the primary reference material. The group, led by two M.S./PhD. level educators, really ended up being a book club centered around this particular book.

My friend and my sons gifted teacher recommended this book. It's very useful book.