An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir (Roughcut)
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir (Roughcut) book cover

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir (Roughcut)

Hardcover – Deckle Edge, September 10, 2008

by
Price
$16.96
Format
Hardcover
Pages
192
Publisher
Little, Brown and Company
Publication Date
ISBN-13
978-0316027670
Dimensions
6 x 1 x 8.5 inches
Weight
10.4 ounces

Description

From Bookmarks Magazine In Elizabeth McCracken’s heartrending memoir—a love letter to the child she lost and the devoted husband who suffered alongside her—McCracken displays her many talents. Her warmth, candor, crystalline prose, lovely imagery, and attention to detail bring her painful story to life. McCracken’s dark sense of humor ensnares unwitting readers, belying the sadness with which she writes, and she shows very little patience for self-pity and sentimentality. Critics praised her clear-eyed account in a genre replete with syrupy, self-aggrandizing books, though some expressed doubts that its subject matter would have wide appeal. “I’m not ready for my first child to fade into history,” explains McCracken. With this heartbreaking account of his life, there’s little chance of that.Copyright 2008 Bookmarks Publishing LLC From Booklist McCracken, author of The Giant’s House (1997), axa0National Book Award finalist, calls her astonishingly candid memoir “the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending.” Whenxa0she and her husband Edward were nearing the end of a 2006 writing sojourn in southern France, and she was in the ninth month of her pregnancy,xa0her unborn baby boyxa0died. Now teaching in upstate New York, and raising her second child, McCracken says she wasn’t ready for her first “to fade into history”—hence, this therapeutic memoir. In amazingly insightful chapters, she shares her acutely sensitive thoughts about how she and Edward dealt with their initial grief, how friends and family coped, where the couple placed their futile blame, if any, and the emotional strings attached to their decision to attempt a pregnancy so soon after this tragedy. McCracken manages to limn her poignant story with touches of humor, empathy toward those whoxa0struggledxa0to express their awkward sympathy, and, ultimately, hope, in the form of the baby asleep in her lap as she types, one-handed. --Deborah Donovan "Reading it is a mysteriously enlarging experience. It could pair neatly with Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking : it's hard to imagine two more rigorous, unsentimental guides to enduring the very bottom of the scale of human emotion." ( Time Lev Grossman )"Stunning...it is a triumph of her will and her writing that she has turned her tragedy into a literary gift." ( PW (Starred Review) )"What an extraordinary book - joy and sorrow all mixed together on every page. Elizabeth McCracken is amazing." ( Mameve Medwed, author of Of Men and Their Mothers )"'A child dies in this book: a baby,'" Elizabeth McCracken tell us early on, so that we we might not hope too much, as she has, for the beautiful child who would grace her life. Alert to every nuance of feeling, McCracken writes with such clarity and immediacy that we hope anyway. 'It's a happy life,' she says, 'and someone is missing.' That these statements can both be true is the mark of great emotional maturity, and of a writer who rises to the human complexity of grief with all her powers, and all her heart." ( Mark Doty, author of Dog Years )"In AN EXACT REPLICA OF A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, Elizabeth McCracken does not howl out her loss. She is devastatingly calm and in this matches measure for measure her own fine writing. By the end of this memoir you will have held a beautiful child in your hands and you will have acknowledged him. This book is an extraordinary gift to us all." ( Alice Sebold, author of The Lovely Bones and The Almost Moon )"[A] fascinating, word-perfect and bittersweet memoir." ( Miami Herald Elinor Lipman ) Elizabeth McCracken is the author of The Giant's House , which was nominated for the National Book Award; Niagara Falls All Over Again , winner of the PEN/Winship Award; and Here's Your Hat What's Your Hurry , a collection of stories. She has received grants and awards from the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown, the National Endowment for the Arts, the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the Guggenheim Foundation, and the American Academy in Berlin. Read more

Features & Highlights

  • "This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending," writes Elizabeth McCracken in her powerful, inspiring memoir. A prize-winning, successful novelist in her 30s, McCracken was happy to be an itinerant writer and self-proclaimed spinster. But suddenly she fell in love, got married, and two years ago was living in a remote part of France, working on her novel, and waiting for the birth of her first child.This book is about what happened next. In her ninth month of pregnancy, she learned that her baby boy had died. How do you deal with and recover from this kind of loss? Of course you don't--but you go on. And if you have ever experienced loss or love someone who has, the company of this remarkable book will help you go on.With humor and warmth and unfailing generosity, McCracken considers the nature of love and grief. She opens her heart and leaves all of ours the richer for it.

Customer Reviews

Rating Breakdown

★★★★★
60%
(305)
★★★★
25%
(127)
★★★
15%
(76)
★★
7%
(36)
★
-7%
(-36)

Most Helpful Reviews

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Honest, Heartfelt Story about Loss and Love

As the mother of four children, two of whom died hours after they were born, I just knew I had to read Elizabeth McCracken's story after reading a magazine review. The story is honest and straight from the heart. Reading her journey of Pudding's life during her pregnancy and subsequent death, I took comfort from her words, knowing that there's no right or wrong way to handle yourself & your grief after the loss of a child. As she asked herself "What if..." I found myself remembering those exact same questions, knowing deep down that there really was nothing that could have changed the sad outcome. I respect and admire the strength and courage it took for her to share her story and am grateful for being given the chance to relive my children's short lives and subsequent deaths with sadness and a hint of joy. They are, after all, a part of our family and Pudding will always be Elizabeth's "first born." As she questioned herself that first Mother's Day, I nodded my head and said aloud "Yes -- you are a Mother and deserve to celebrate this day with Mothers everywhere."

The story is beautifully written with words the flow gently, accurately describing the pain and sorrow and hope she & her husband felt that entire year after Pudding's death. I felt as if I knew Elizabeth personally and shared in her happiness after the birth of Gus. I am certain he will come to know his big brother "Pudding" and will be grateful for the role he played in bringing Gus into this world.

Thank you for sharing your story Elizabeth. You are an inspiration to mother's everywhere, especially those of us who have gone through similar situations and for those who may not have the courage to share their story.
48 people found this helpful
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Powerful yet beautiful

This is one of the most powerful books I've read in quite some time. It is easily read in a day. Once you start, you won't want to put it down. There is a huge amount of emotional vulnerability and honesty in this short memoir, which makes for an extraordinarily engaging read.

From the beginning, the reader knows about the tragic and heartbreaking ending of McCracken's first pregnancy. We know what happened, but we're not quite sure about the details leading up to the point where she received the news that her unborn baby had died. McCracken makes you feel that you need to know. You need to understand exactly what happened. But she takes her time, giving you the background first.

McCracken goes back and forth between past and present. How she met her husband (who is surely an angel, by the way), how they lived in various countries on various continents, how they ended up living in France at the time of her pregnancy. She is all over the place in terms of the timeline of events, which might be distracting, EXCEPT for the fact that all the jumping around somehow seemed appropriate given the subject matter of this book. Because this book is about grief, and let's face it: grief is messy.

One of the aspects of this book that stands out the most in my mind is the author's feelings about the reactions of her friends and family. What expressions of sympathy gave her strength and courage, and what left her cold? This memoir was written a little over a year after her first baby died in utero, and shortly after the birth of her second child. McCracken is painfully honest about who responded how. She addresses the few people who reacted in an unforgivable way, but more importantly, she recounts the loving expressions of sympathy from friend after friend that sustained her. I think there is something to learn here, about what we need most from our friends and relatives when we are grieving.

It might seem like this is a depressing book, but it's not. I think McCracken wrote this memoir to memorialize both her first child and her own experience. I don't think she wants closure. She makes it very clear in the book that she wants to remember her first child always and every day. The book is a tribute, and a beautiful one at that.
34 people found this helpful
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Heartbreaking story with a happy ending

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination is a memoir written by Elizabeth McCracken and published by Hachette Book Group.

Elizabeth McCracken was happy in her life as a single woman until she met and fell in love with Edward Harvey. They married and since they are both writers, they lived a migratory life. In 2006, Elizabeth and Edward were living in France and expecting a baby. The pregnancy was uncomplicated, but they were still cautious - not naming the baby or preparing for it too soon. Late in the pregnancy, Elizabeth realized that the baby wasn't moving as much as he once did, so they visited their midwife. After and examination, the midwife said "I wish he would respond more, but it is not serious." Later that day, their baby died, and Elizabeth had to go through an agonizing stillborn delivery. They left France and eventually moved to America, where they had a healthy baby boy (Gus) a year and three days after the stillbirth.

"When I was pregnant with Gus, toward the end especially, there was nothing in my life that was not bittersweet. Every piece of hope was tinged with sadness; every moment of relief was lit on the edges with worry. But now that Gus is Stateside, my love for him is just plain love, just plain sweet."

Elizabeth says, "This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending", but I think it's just the opposite. It's a sad story, but Elizabeth doesn't wallow in self pity, and it has a wonderfully happy ending. Through her vivid descriptions, I felt the pain and suffering they went through. This is an emotional book that is full of hope. I admire the incredible strength, courage and love that Elizabeth and Edward possess. I learned that it is better to say the wrong thing than nothing at all to the grieving, and that grieving goes on much longer than sympathy does. This book moved me to tears, but by the end of the book, my sorrow had turned to joy.
19 people found this helpful
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Problem?

I needed this book, and I knew it right away.
So many years ago my ex-wife had an atopic pregnancy. To me the whole thing seemed so insignificant. It was like we were playing base ball, got one strike called, and then hit a home run on the next pitch.
What's the problem?
This book taught me the problem. Heartbreak does bring us together, no matter how apart we seem to be- or how long it takes.
John Bidwell
7 people found this helpful
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Compelling - Helping Others Understand

I saw this book reviewed in Time Magazine in September and just found it in my public library. I read it in one sitting. It helped me better understand what my beloved mother-in-law experienced in the 40s when she, too, had a stillborn baby. When the baby was born, her doctor said, "We do not what went wrong...let's sit down and cry together"...and they did. McCraken's memoir is a sharing of her grief and how life goes on, and that we never forget those we have lost...and that is O.K.
5 people found this helpful
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A graceful look at grief

I first discovered this book in Oprah magazine, excerpted as an essay and what struck me besides the absolute beauty and starkness of the language was the understanding, the grace, the simplicity of the words and the complexity of the words all at the same time.

I will just quote Elizabeth here at the beginning of her memoir:

"A child dies in this book: a baby. A baby is stillborn. You don't have to tell me how sad that is: it happened to me and my husband, our baby, a son."

And that, my friends, is the beginning of a book that takes your breath away with sadness, with laughter, with hope, and with the ultimate faith in life.

Is it a book for parents whose children have died? I don't know. I am reading it. I put it down several times a day. I will read it. My husband may not. He doesn't like sad books anymore. He doesn't like books or stories where babies die. He doesn't find comfort in that. I somehow still do.

And because I first discovered Elizabeth in The Giant's House, a novel that sings, I know that I cannot be disappointed in her writing. And because Ann Patchett and Alice Sebold love McCracken's writing, well then, that also says a great deal. And because I think, Elizabeth's first love is of the literary genre, it too is evidenced here.

But of course there is a paradox because the book, however lovely, is here because her son is not. And that will always be the real tragedy.

Do I have any disappointments about the book? Only one. When I picked it up, it was lighter than I expected, and I realized in that moment, that I wanted it to weigh a healthy eight pounds. I wanted to hold it in my arms and rock it. And that perhaps is all that is left to be said except for this:

Go and buy the book!
3 people found this helpful
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From S. Krishna's Books

I've never had a baby. That may be in the cards one day, but it's not something my husband and I have planned for anytime soon. So you might ask: how can this book, about a woman who loses her unborn child, speak to me?

The answer? I don't know. But what I can tell you is that this book is amazing. It is simple and beautiful; a tribute to a child that didn't quite make it into the world. It is a work of enduring and unconditional love from a mother to a child. Though I haven't been a mother, I have been a child and I have seen the quality of that love firsthand. It pours from each page, love and grief mixed into one.

However, somehow the book is still joyful and full of hope. On every page, as the reader takes in McCracken's unfathomable sense of loss, there is also hope. Don't get me wrong - it is sometimes difficult to read. I found myself tearing up more than once. But the book is so unflinchingly honest, so real, that it feels like real life. There are all the emotions present, mixed in with the grief.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. It is beautifully written, honest, emotional, and full of the wonder of life. It is McCracken's tribute to her unborn child, so that she, and everyone else, will always remember what she had and what she lost.
3 people found this helpful
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Unique and honest

I cried when I finished this book, because I felt as if I knew the author and her family, and I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye. Only this author could have written this particular story, but it will resonate with anyone who has lost a child or knows someone who has. (The only prerequisite to reading it successfully is that the reader must have a sense of humor.)

Pudding never got to experience life outside his mother. But she tells his story so perfectly, she has secured him a place in the hearts of many. In this way, he lives on.
2 people found this helpful
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Curious

I was curious how Ms McCracken could pull this off without making a really sad story. She definitely did. I expected to cry through the entire book but did not. Very interesting read.
2 people found this helpful
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Amazing Book

As the mother of a stillborn son, I could not believe how well Elizabeth described so much of what I felt in that first year after my son died in labor. Thank-you Elizabeth for telling this story to help others understand.
2 people found this helpful

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