Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama
Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama book cover

Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama

Hardcover – May 1, 2012

Price
$32.25
Format
Hardcover
Pages
304
Publisher
Mariner Books
Publication Date
ISBN-13
978-0618982509
Dimensions
6 x 0.94 x 9 inches
Weight
1.38 pounds

Description

From Bookforum It's through Bechdel's exquisite visual rhymes and riffs that Are You My Mother? knits together its many strings, with profoundly pleasurable results. . . . It imprints, magnificently, a curious mind's quest to know itself. —Sara Marcus "In Are You My Mother? , Alison Bechdel poses an infinity of thought-provoking questions about women, literature, feminism, family bonds, psychology and the complicated relationship between therapist and patient...The book is a page turner, thanks in part to Bechdel's lovely and subtle illustrations. Bechdel's examination of her relationship with her mother also touches on the universal push and pull between mothers and children...The book's transcendent ending is Bechdel's expression of love for her own 'good enough mother.'"— USA Today "Sad, funny, sprawling graphic memoir...An intensely personal, specific story, but Bechdel's imaginative narrative techniques make it easily as compelling as any fiction...Its stylistic flexibility accomodates more layers than any straight documentary or prose memoir could support...This work is her link in the long chain connecting her foremothers and their daughters and all of the other women who shaped her."— The Atlantic "A staggering achievement...Although Bechdel utilizes all the features of the graphic-novel form, she is so intelligent and perceptive that this story of self-discovery (an abused term, but never more apt) would still be compelling if told only in prose...Are You My Mother? is a masterwork that gracefully documents the torture that sensitive people can put themselves through while searching for the casual movers of their lives."— The Daily Beast " Are You My Mother? is a tremendously intimate work, more so even than Fun Home . Taken together, the two books are a practical guide to the complicated, unspoken negotiations that take place between children and their parents, those sphinxlike beings who give us life and then promptly deal us near fatal psychic wounds.Watching Bechdel dig into the underworld of her subconscious is paradoxically uplifting. The courage and rigor with which she examines her life make readers feel as if their own secrets might not be quite so unspeakable."—Lev Grossman, Time Magazine "...Magnificent... Whatever issues Bechdel has with her mother, one always has the sense that she likes her as much as she loves her. That affection — and the real sense one gets of her mother reading these pages, running her finger over the tenderly drawn panels of their history — gives this book an urgency and an intimacy that Fun Home , in retrospect, lacked... Bechdel's triumph is not just that she's emerged from her tunnel, with weary but clear eyes, but that she's brought her mother with her. Grade: A"— Entertainment Weekly "... Are You My Mother is as complicated, brainy, inventive and satisfying as the finest prose memoirs...The tragedy and comedy are so entwined, so gloriously balanced, the reader can't help being fascinated. The book delivers lightening bolts of revelation...I haven't encountered a book about being an artist, or about the punishing entanglements of mothers and daughters, as engaging, profound or original as this one in a long time. In fact, the book made such a deep impression on me that after reading it I walked around for days seeing little bits and snatches of my life as Alison Bechdel drawings."— The New York Times Book Review " Are You My Mother is a work of the most humane kind of genius, bravely going right to the heart of things: why we are who we are. It's also incredibly funny. And visually stunning. And page-turningly addictive. And heartbreaking . "— Jonathan Safran Foer , author of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and Everything is Illuminated "Many of us are living out the unlived lives of our mothers. Alison Bechdel has written a graphic novel about this; sort of like a comic book by Virginia Woolf. You won't believe it until you read it—and you must!" —Gloria Steinem "This book is not so much the sequel to Alison Bechdel’s captivating memoir Fun Home , as the maternal yin to its paternal yang. Bravely worrying out the snarled web of missed connections that bedevil her relationship with her remarkable mother from the very start, Bechdel deploys everyone from Virginia Woolf to D.W. Winnicott (the legendary psychoanalytic theorist who comes to serve as her quest’s benign fairy godfather) to untie the snares of a fraught past. She arrives, at long last, at something almost as shimmering as it is simple: a grace-flecked accommodation and an affirming love."— Lawrence Weschler , author of Everything that Rises: A Book of Convergences and Uncanny Valley: Adventures in the Narrative "A psychologically complex, ambitious, illuminating successor to the author’s graphic-memoir masterpiece." -- Kirkus Reviews , starred review "[Bechdel's] lines and angles are sharper than in Fun Home, and yet her self-image and her views of family members, lovers, and analysts are thorough, clear, and kind. Mothers, adult daughters, literati, memoir fans, and psychology readers are among the many who will find this outing a rousing experience . . . This may be the most anticipated graphic novel of the year." -- Booklist , starred review "A fiercely honest work about the field of combat that is family." -- Publishers Weekly , starred review " Are You My Mother? offers an improbably profound master class in how to live an examined life . . . More moving and illuminating than Fun Home." -- Elle "The best writers, whether they are creating fiction or nonfiction, are trying to find out what makes people human for better and for worse. A taut, complex book within several books, Bechdel’s investigation of her relationship with her mother and the work of pioneering psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott offers the most articulate answer you’re likely to ingest. You’ll feel like Alice climbing your way out the jagged rabbit hole to limbo." -- Library Journal From the Inside Flap From the best-selling author of "Fun Home," "Time "magazine s No. 1 Book of the Year, a brilliantly told graphic memoir of Alison Bechdel becoming the artist her mother wanted to be. Alison Bechdel s "Fun Home" was a pop culture and literary phenomenon. Now, a second thrilling tale of filial sleuthery, this time about her mother: voracious reader, music lover, passionate amateur actor. Also a woman, unhappily married to a closeted gay man, whose artistic aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel's childhood . . . and who stopped touching or kissing her daughter good night, forever, when she was seven. Poignantly, hilariously, Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning the mother-daughter gulf. It's a richly layered search that leads readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to Bechdel s own (serially monogamous) adult love life. And, finally, back to Mother to a truce, fragile and real-time, that will move and astonish all adult children of gifted mothers." From the best-selling author of Fun Home , Time magazine’s No. 1 Book of the Year, a brilliantly told graphic memoir of Alison Bechdel becoming the artist her mother wanted to be. Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home was a pop culture and literary phenomenon. Now, a second thrilling tale of filial sleuthery, this time about her mother: voracious reader, music lover, passionate amateur actor. Also a woman, unhappily married to a closeted gay man, whose artistic aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel's childhood . . . and who stopped touching or kissing her daughter good night, forever, when she was seven. Poignantly, hilariously, Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning the mother-daughter gulf. It's a richly layered search that leads readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to Bechdel’s own (serially monogamous) adult love life. And, finally, back to Mother—to a truce, fragile and real-time, that will move and astonish all adult children of gifted mothers. ALISON BECHDEL’s cult following for her early comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For expanded wildly for her family memoirs, the New York Times bestselling and Time magazine #1 Book of the Year graphic memoir Fun Home, adapted into a Tony Award-winning musical, and Are You My Mother? Bechdel has been named a MacArthur Fellow and Cartoonist Laureate of Vermont, among many other honors. The Secret to Superman Strength is her third graphic memoir. Read more

Features & Highlights

  • From the best-selling author of
  • Fun Home
  • ,
  • Time
  • magazine’s No. 1 Book of the Year, a brilliantly told graphic memoir of Alison Bechdel becoming the artist her mother wanted to be.Alison Bechdel’s
  • Fun Home
  • was a pop culture and literary phenomenon. Now, a second thrilling tale of filial sleuthery, this time about her mother: voracious reader, music lover, passionate amateur actor. Also a woman, unhappily married to a closeted gay man, whose artistic aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel's childhood . . . and who stopped touching or kissing her daughter good night, forever, when she was seven. Poignantly, hilariously, Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning the mother-daughter gulf. It's a richly layered search that leads readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to Bechdel’s own (serially monogamous) adult love life. And, finally, back to Mother—to a truce, fragile and real-time, that will move and astonish all adult children of gifted mothers.

Customer Reviews

Rating Breakdown

★★★★★
30%
(217)
★★★★
25%
(181)
★★★
15%
(108)
★★
7%
(51)
23%
(165)

Most Helpful Reviews

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don't take the title too literally, or look for book one in book two

The book starts out oddly similar to how Art Spiegelman began Maus II: with an inability to start. It's less effective with Bechdal, because instead of revealing something she seems to express how uncomfortable she is with her subject matter. This is the prelude to an insecure, awkward book with various intellectuals, philosophers, and therapists providing cover for what she can't talk about. The disintegration of a 13 year relationship? Barely mentioned. Her mother's poetry? Not included. Mention of the origins of her mother's own emotional withdrawal? Barely mentioned. Evidence of Bechdel interacting with others beyond her own neurosis? None. Direct confrontation regarding ongoing issues? Nope.

But make no mistake: this book isn't about her mother. It's about a quest for a mother. It's about a writer and artist in crisis who is not ready to write about what she feels forced to write about. It's about an artist who produced a very special book and feels pressured to produce something similar and is struggling. It's this glaring vulnerability that makes it intriguing. It's the personal fortress of intellectual all-stars that makes it fascinating. You really are in someone's head, right down to all the obstacles, errors, rambling, and disjointed ideas. It's the story of someone's messy desk. It's a straw jar. For these reasons, it's different, it's challenging, and in many ways refreshing. What's absent in all her therapy wrangling and interior wrestling is some semblance of resolution -- much like endless therapy, it just talks issues into the ground, with no point where the lessons are taken away, and applied to life, that new and ever-changing force informed by childhood experiences, but not dictated by them.

In order to free herself from the burdens of memoir, I'd love to see the next book take the fiction route, where Bechdel will have the freedom to be as amazing and awful and angry and accusatory as she wants, to fictional foils who might resemble reality, but can't claim a place in it.
5 people found this helpful
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by way of an amazing amount of flaky intellectualizing of Jung and Freud

Unlike her first graphic novel, AYMM is a meandering, self-indulgent exploration into Bechdel's issues, by way of an amazing amount of flaky intellectualizing of Jung and Freud. There are very nice moments of honest autobiography, but the majority is full of impossible-to-take-seriously theorizing by psychologists Bechdel clearly admires. The result is an unintentional insight into Bechdel's narcissism, leaving you with the feeling that she'd be a much happier person if she stopped thinking about herself all the time and just joined the Peace Corps. It's an impressive effort, but, unless you're drinking her kool-aid, one that fails to generate any true epiphany.
3 people found this helpful
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Bechdel as Briscoe

Yes, it's different from Fun Home. And yes, Fun Home was beyond amazing. But how could we expect her to write that book twice?

Are You My Mother isn't some blockbuster sequel exposing even juicier family secrets. It's more like a very thoughtful commentary as the author absorbs her mother's reaction to Fun Home and examines their complicated relationship through a myriad of cultural and intellectual lenses - Virginia Woolf, Stephen Sondheim, A.A. Milne, psychologist Donald Winnicott, The Drama of the Gifted Child.

It's introspective. Über meta. Cerebral-licious. All of my favorite flavors. I've been a huge fan of Alison Bechdel for years, but this is the first time I've ever wanted to climb into the pages and give her a hug. Several hugs.

The negative reviews, while missing the point, also serve nicely as another meta-layer: Charles Tansley to Bechdel's Lily Briscoe. After I re-read Fun Home and the DTWOF collection, maybe I'll re-read To the Lighthouse.
3 people found this helpful
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An Expansive, Beautiful Memoir, A Great Book about Family, Therapy, and the Creative Process

I loved this book. It's Bechdel's follow-up (of sorts) to her masterpiece "Fun Home." While "Fun Home" was the story of her relationship with her father, this book is the story of her relationship with her mother. But it's also much more than that--and also, I think, ultimately much more than "Fun Home" in many ways. While "Fun Home" adheres to a relatively conventional narrative structure--which it deploys to beautiful, heartbreaking effect--this book is much more experimental and much more reflexive. By writing about her mother, Bechdel also writes about the creative process, as well as the therapeutic process: The book is almost a journal of her years in therapy, as well as her life as a writer. As such, it is very intimate but also very "meta" (as her mother puts it.) What makes it marvelous is that its more reflexive elements do not seem forced, nor do they pull the reader away from the book's emotional core. On the contrary, they allowed me to more deeply engage with Bechdel and, in turn, they also made this book very powerful for me personally: It is a book that I will discuss in therapy, and I will be in dialogue with it throughout my life at work and home.

Like "Fun Home," it's a very literary book. But here the muses are Virginia Woolf and, more than anyone, Donald Winnicott, the British psychoanalyst. I suspect that the book's heavily literary and specifically psychoanalytic approach may put many readers off, but I did not find it to be jargony at all. The psychoanalytic concepts introduced were always grounded in experience from Bechdel's life, and this experience both illuminated and was illuminated by the concepts discussed. As such I found the book to be a great introduction to Winnicott's work and even psychoanalysis more broadly. Psychoanalysis is not an abstract academic field here--it is a way of life and, really, for Bechdel, a *necessary* way of living. The result is that concepts impacted me on a deep emotional level, one that encouraged me to reflect on my own experience. So, yes, this *is* a book that will make you more knowledgeable at cocktail parties, but, more importantly, it will help you to understand how knowledge can open up new emotional and creative expanses in your own life.

But this book is not just a memoir with some pictures. As wordy as Bechdel can be--and she correctly understands that linguistic virtuosity can serve to ward off one's emotions--the quality of her art is what makes this book (and "Fun Home") one that is worth owning. I don't remember ever reading a comic book artist who draws emotion this well. The faces of her characters are expressive in very subtle, almost imperceptible ways, as is appropriate for a book about therapy and family life. In this sense, "Are You My Mother?" succeeds in matching its very detailed, reflexive, and heartfelt language with images that are just as nuanced, anguished, and complex. It's a tour de force, and I am certain that I will read it again.
2 people found this helpful
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I love this book

Unlike most of the reviewers below, I have not read Fun Home, so I can't compare this memoir with the eariler one. But Are You My Mother? breaks new ground and Bechdel has found new ways of articulating feelings and experiences. The writing is as sure as the drawing. As a mother and daughter and author struggling with similar issues and material, I salute Alison and her editor for creating an extraordinary book.
2 people found this helpful
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Butch wonders why Mommy doesn't like her.

Our famous (and also artistically talented) lesbian heroine who looks like an adorable young man in her middle years, goes through a whole parade of girlfriends, therapists, philosophers, and all kinds of books (including Dr. Seuss!) in desperate attempts to find out the mysterious reason for her mother's rather haughty attitude toward her.

But the answer here is quite simple: real life is not all that simple. This means motherhood isn't all rosy baby toes and powdered diapers that still allows the new mom freedom to fulfill her dreams, your darling husband could suddenly swing the other way (and so can your kid!), and your "true love" wouldn't show up naked on your doorstep one magical night to remain faithfully at your side for the rest of your days. Simple as that. :)
2 people found this helpful
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Complex, intellectual and challenging, but very rewarding in the end

This is a complex and at times exhausting book in which Bechdel analyzes her relationship with her mother. Many of the other reviews are so amazingly written and thoughtful that I will try not to repeat what has been said.

If you are interested in analysis/psychotherapy, women writers/poets/artists, and the process by which creative artists find their voice, I think you will enjoy this book. If you are not interested in these subjects, you may not. As a former academic I was challenged by the complexity of some of the concepts Bechdel presents. At times, I felt she needed to stop analyzing everything and just start living. However, as someone in therapy who tends to intellectualize things at the expense of the emotions, I also related to her dilemma. In fact, I gained some insights into my own family situation from it.

This book at times feels like following someone in a tight spiral down a well, but it is always brutally honest and rewarding. Like others, I could not pull my self away from reading this and stopped only for short breaks when my brain got overloaded with terms like "cathexis".

However, as a mother (about Bechdel's age) I looked at the book from a mother's perspective as well and certainly saw how her mother could feel the way she did.

Like many others, I wanted to reach into the book and give hugs--both to Bechdel's mother, who gave up many of her educational and career goals to live out the 50s dream of wife-and-motherhood only to find her life was a total charade, and to Bechdel, who tried so hard to be perfect in a very mixed-up family.

I hope that their relationship continues to grow and both of them find peace.
1 people found this helpful
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Misnamed

A little disappointing after her first book was so good. I didn't really feel like this was about her mother or her relationship with her mother but just about the author. All the therapy sessions got old. Just my opinion.
1 people found this helpful
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A beautiful and engaging visual story!

An wonderful follow up to Fun Home. I couldn't put it down! Very much worth reading, it is sort of like getting the Directors Commentary for Fun Home in book form.
1 people found this helpful
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A Brave and Insightful Book.

Are You My Mother? by Alison Bechdel is a brave story filled with painful insight into Bechdel's relationship with her mother and her struggle to free herself from a legacy of pain. Bechdel is funny, honest, and desperately sincere. I found her earlier book about her father somewhat intellectually removed, but not this time.I, too love, Winnicott. Bechdel's use of her therapeutic insights, illuminated with the story of her journey stimulate the intellect, and touch our emotions.
1 people found this helpful