Clear Winter Nights: A Journey into Truth, Doubt, and What Comes After

Q&A with Trevin Wax Q. Your other books are non-fiction, so what inspired you to try your hand at fiction? A. I started out writing fiction, actually. As a teenager, I wrote lots of short stories and enjoyed circulating them among my classmates, friends, and family members. In some ways, writing fiction again is like going back to my roots as a writer. I thought it would fun to dive into a fictional world and create some characters who could engage in dialogue about the big questions of life and faith Q. The book is described as “theology in story.” How would you describe your purpose in that? A. That's a way of saying, "This isn't your normal fiction book." I'm being up front about the purpose of the story - to teach. Readers who pick up this book will learn something from the characters and their questions and conversations. It's not just a theology book, because this is a narrative about two people engaging the big questions of life. Neither is it just a fiction book, because there are certainly some theological teachings that come through in the dialogue. It's both - theology in story. Q. The main character, 22-year-old Chris Walker, starts to doubt his faith during his senior year of college. Why do so many young people go through a season of questioning and doubt? A. A lot of kids grow up in the church and they're taught what to think, but not necessarily how to think. Then they go off to college, run into people with radically different perspectives on the world, and it causes a crisis of faith. They aren't sure whether or not they will stick with the Christianity they grew up with. So they wonder, "Do I just go through the motions of my faith? Or do I really own my faith? Or do I walk away?" Q. How can parents, pastors and friends support those who are asking the tough questions or who have been disillusioned by faith? A. Don't ever be dismissive of tough questions. At the same time, look at the questions behind the questions. Often, the questions are not merely intellectual quandaries but are connected to issues of morality, personal choices, and relationships. We are not talking heads doing theology in outer space somewhere. We are real people in a real world who are wrestling with truth at all sorts of levels. It's important for parents and pastors and friends to not rush to judgment, but to walk alongside those who have doubts. Q. Does Chris discover that the faith of his grandfather is still relevant today? How does he come to understand that truth is unchanging even in an ever-changing world? A. I don't want to give away too much of the book. I think what surprises Chris the most is how Gil peels back the layer of his heart to show the root issues of many of his problems. Gil is never satisfied to just give answers. He throws questions back at Chris in a way that challenges his way of thinking. Q. Chris struggles with the hypocrisy he sees in other Christians. How does Grandpa Gil help him process through this? A. Two ways: by helping Chris see that his disdain for hypocrisy is actually rooted in the Christian faith he's doubting. And by modeling for Chris what authentic, humble Christianity is. Q. How does Gil explain evangelism to Chris? How had Chris’ experiences of studying religion in college affect whether he knew God or just knew about God? A. Again, I don't want to give away too much of the content of their conversations, but I will say this: Gil shows Chris that it's not inherently intolerant to persuade others to put their faith in Jesus. He also shows how scholarship can be either a tool to help us know and love God more, or something that distances us from God's claim on our life. It's not enough to know about God. God wants us to know Him . Q. Does Chris resolve all of his doubts by the end of the weekend he spends with his grandfather? A. Readers will have to pick up the book to find out, of course! I would just say that this is a realistic look at faith and doubt and truth, and that a happy end with a person's doubts erased after a few conversations isn't the way real life works. Not when there are serious issues and struggles being faced. That said, there is a resolution to the book that I think will prove satisfying to most readers. Q. What do you hope readers will take away from the story of Chris and Gil? A. That we can talk about big ideas with winsomeness and love. That we can walk alongside people with struggles without belittling them or their doubts. That the gospel is true and powerful and impacts everything about our lives. Praise for Clear Winter Nights “Trevin Wax’s Clear Winter Nights is an engaging story about something fresh and vital—the old kind of Christian, transformed by Christ, doing battle with sin, relying on Jesus day after day. The book raises honest questions and offers honest answers based on what’s rock solid, not on our culture’s ever-shifting worldview. I enjoyed the movingrelationship between a young man and an old one, with history, heritage, mentoring, and friendship. I found Clear Winter Nights to be warm, compelling, and thought provoking.” —Randy Alcorn, author of Heaven, Deception, and If God Is Good “The best novels leave you wanting more. As I read Clear Winter Nights , I wanted to join the characters’ conversations and felt the pain of separation from them when I finished. Trevin Wax has given us the gift of a compelling story about family, doubt, faith, and the biggest questions of life.” —Collin Hansen, editorial director for The Gospel Coalition and co-author of A God-Sized Vision: Revival Stories That Stretch and Stir “Trevin Wax takes you on an honest intellectual and emotional journey as he explores the exclusive claims of Christ that everyone has struggled with at some time or another. His characters draw the reader into the conversation and leave you feeling satisfied about where they end up, bringing in a whole new dynamic to how we typically approachtheological study.” —Matt Carter, co-author of The Real Win “‘Tell all the truth, but tell it slant,’ said Emily Dickinson. This book does exactly that. This book goes to the guts of the gospel, and it shares the good news story straight by telling it slant. Thank you, Trevin Wax, for putting your imagination as well as your theology in service to Christ.” —Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School at Samford University and general editor of the Reformation Commentary on Scripture “Chris is struggling with his faith in God, his relationships are falling apart, and he doesn’t know where to turn. He doesn’t have to go far to find a faithful friend in his grandfather. Trevin Wax’s Clear Winter Nights tackles faith, doubt, theology, the person of Christ, evangelism, and our struggle with sin. Clear and insightful; the pages pour out God’s amazing grace to sinners and His unfailing love to those who’ve wandered away. A perfect book for anyone with questions about faith in the one true God.” —Trillia Newbell, author and writer, and editor of Women of God Magazine TREVIN WAX is managing editor of The Gospel Project, an all-ages small-group curriculum developed by LifeWay Christian Resources. A former missionary and pastor, Wax is a popular blogger (Kingdom People) and a contributor to Christianity Today. He is also the author of Counterfeit Gospels and Holy Subversion. He and his wife, Corina, reside in middle Tennessee with their children. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. 1 Saturday, October 7, Knoxville, Tennessee Can we leave now? I don’t want to be late,” Ashley said, tugging at Chris’s arm and drawing him out of his thoughts. It was late afternoon, and she had stopped by the apartment her fiancé shared with a couple of other college students in the run-down Fort Sanders neighborhood in Knoxville. The two were about to head to a meeting for a new church start-up they were involved in.Ashley always sought to make a good impression. That’s one reason Chris liked her. Self-aware without being self-absorbed. She was cute too. Small, with shoulder-length strawberry-blond hair.“I don’t feel like going,” Chris said, meeting her smile with a furrowed brow and hoping she could sense his irritation. The sunlight coming in at a low angle through the window touched his wavy dark hair.Ashley pressed on. “I told Luke and Cami we’d be there.”“Is it okay with you if we just walk?”“I guess,” she said. Her sigh said it wasn’t.Chris grabbed a jacket, and the two turned toward the door. As they left, Chris was wondering, Should I go ahead and say it to her today? Do I really want to? He sighed and turned the key in the lock.October in East Tennessee. The trees were surrendering their leaves, and the sidewalk and street edges were hiding under a blanket of harvest colors. One more hour of daylight would give them enough time for a walk and a talk.Chris was a gentleman. He made sure he walked on the outside, next to the street, and that his wiry frame was shielding Ashley’s eyes from the slanting sunlight. He escorted her, arm in arm, with an air of old-fashioned sophistication. They passed one large old house after another, most of them long since converted to student housing for the University of Tennessee.Ashley asked him, “Are you having second thoughts about helping start the church?" Chris didn’t answer. Didn’t Ashley realize this conversation could go south? Maybe she did. Maybe that’s what she wanted. If she insisted, he would oblige.“I… Yeah, I’m having second thoughts about…about a lot of things,” he said.Chris saw concern on Ashley’s face. But she covered it with an uneasy smile and leaned in closer to his side as they walked.Just a few months earlier, Chris had his life mapped out. He’d finally given Ashley a ring, and the two were planning to get married next spring. He was supposed to graduate from college in the summer, help a friend start a business, and take on a leadership role in the new church start-up.But one by one, all his plans had fallen through. An unexpected class requirement postponed his graduation until December. His friend decided to start his business somewhere else. When it came to church, Chris was waffling on more than just being a part of the church-planting team. And the longer he was with Ashley, the more he wondered if his ring was really a fit for her finger.“I’m here for you, no matter what,” Ashley said. She stroked the inside of his palm. “Are you still having doubts?”“Doubts?” Chris tried to act surprised.“You know, doubts about the new church, about what you believe.”Doubt sounded like a bad word the way Ashley used it. “It’s not really doubting,” he said. “It’s more like…questioning.” That was better. But Chris knew he wasn’t fooling her.“Okay.” Ashley played along. “Questions, then. Has Dr. Coleman gotten under your skin lately?”An image of his religion professor’s tall figure and unremitting gaze entered Chris’s mind. “No more than usual,” he said. “Some, I guess. He’s definitely got me thinking.”“He does that to lots of his students. I had a hard time for a while too. But in the end, I think I came out stronger for it.”“Yeah, well, we’re different,” he said. He knew she was trying to help, but it wasn’t working.“Have you told Luke about any of this?”“He’s got enough on his plate.”“He wouldn’t mind.”“He’s trying to start a church. Last thing he needs is for one of us to tell him we’re not bought in one hundred percent.”“Well,” Ashley said, “if he sees you like this, he’s going to think you’re not bought into his vision, anyway. He might think he’s done something to upset you. That it’s because of him.”“It’s not.”“But he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know the doubts you have.”“Questions.”“Right. Questions. He’s always saying the church needs to be a place for people to be real. To doubt. To question.”“I don’t think Luke is ready for his leaders to be this real.”Both were quiet for a few moments. Then Ashley said, “Have you talked to your grandfather?”At the mention of his grandfather, Chris felt a wave of joy crash into a shore of guilt. Gilbert Walker was a retired pastor who lived in the charming old town of Lewisville, about ninety miles west of Knoxville. At eighty years of age, Chris’s grandfather seemed to be in good health, sharp in mind and strong in body. He and Chris couldn’t get together without losing themselves in interesting conversation, sometimes even argument. But the house was out of the way, nestled in the hill country, and Chris hadn’t visited as often as he thought he should—only for lack of time, not for lack of love.“It’s too soon,” he said. “Grandma’s only been gone a month.”“Maybe you’re right,” Ashley said. “But I bet he’d enjoy the company.”Chris nodded. Ashley was always thinking of others and seemed to know instinctively when people’s gifts and personalities would complement one another. Just bring the right person to the right place at the right time for the right meeting, and everyone would be stronger.As they walked past the old brick Christ Chapel, Chris thought again of their church-planting team. “So you think I should talk to Luke?”Ashley’s response came so quickly it caught Chris off guard. “For sure. That’s what he’s there for. You’re not supposed to walk this road alone. I don’t know what I would’ve done without some older, wiser people around me.” Then she added, “I know what you’re going through.”Chris felt his temperature rise. Ashley’s attempts at empathy were working against her. He started to think of all the things that made his situation so much more difficult than hers had been. He remembered when she had gone through her “dark night of the soul.” Aptly named, because it seemed as though it lasted only one night. Chris, on the other hand, had been wrestling for months, and the nights were only getting darker. Is there a dark year of the soul?“You’re not me,” he said.“I never said that,” Ashley said, slower and quieter. “But no matter who you are, you need others. You can’t hold on to a childlike faith if you don’t grab hold of a grownup every now and then.”“There’s a difference between a childlike faith and a childish faith,” Chris said.“Chris Walker—” She bit her lip and turned away from him, doing her trademark eye roll used to keep from crying.“No, Ashley. Seriously.”“So I have a childish faith?”“I didn’t say that.” Chris groaned. “Come on, Ashley, you know I admire the way you’ve thought through things. I think it’s great you’ve gotten stronger through everything. Last thing I want is for you to turn into me.”He grinned. She returned the smile, noticeably halfhearted.Chris continued, “It’s just…you know what Luke’s been saying. How this church is going to require commitment, more than any other church we’ve been a part of before.”“You said that’s a good thing.”“Yeah. It is. I think. But it’s a little scary too. Luke even wants us to sign a covenant that says what we believe.”“Does that bother you?”“No. I think it’s awesome.”“Then what’s the problem?” Ashley’s tone betrayed herexasperation. Read more