Dying: A Memoir
Dying: A Memoir book cover

Dying: A Memoir

Price
$14.18
Format
Hardcover
Pages
152
Publisher
Tin House Books
Publication Date
ISBN-13
978-1941040706
Dimensions
5.4 x 0.7 x 8.1 inches
Weight
8.8 ounces

Description

" Dying is bracing and beautiful, possessed of an extraordinary intellectual and moral rigor. Every medical student should read it. Every human should read it.xa0" ― Jennifer Senior, The New York Times "An eloquent plea for a more humane approach to death and a moving meditation on the life that leads to that end. . . .xa0There is an ever expanding body of literature on coming to terms with mortality, and this entry ranks with the best." ― Kirkus, Starred Review "Honest, powerful, and moving . . . A deeply personal conversation about the alchemy of death, this brave memoir reveals the intimacy of the act, where 'we're like the last survivors on a sinking ship, huddled together for warmth.'" ― Oprah.com "This slender volume brings a fresh point of view to end-of-life care, the concept of having a sense of control over the unknown, and the role of chance in life. This deep meditation is beautifully written and destined to be an important piece of the conversation surrounding death. Taylor’s last testament to life is a welcome departing gift from a thoughtful and inspired author." ― Publishers Weekly, Starred Review "An electrifying book about dying that’s part dreamy reminiscence, part philosophical monograph. The author, reckoning with Stage 4 melanoma, demystifies the final experience of our lives, exploring questions of control, fear and regret. My copy is underlined like a composition notebook. 'For what are we,' Taylor asks, 'if not a body taking a mind for a walk, just to see what’s there?'" ― The New York Times Book Review, Critics' Pick "If a more open discussion of death is needed in the West, Taylor’sxa0book is a manual for the task. It is full of wisdom and vulnerability; it isxa0also profoundly reassuring.xa0Dying, she repeatedly says, is deeply lonely. Noxa0one can do it with you. But this book might be a companion, made all the morexa0solid by its lack of sentimentality and anyxa0other false comforts." ― Times Literary Supplement " Dying is a powerful, passionate, unflinchingxa0memoirxa0about facing death and the choices and difficulty and beauty that entails. It should be required reading for all of us." ― Ann Hood "This small, powerful book offers a clean engagement with life’s conclusion: with clarity and courage, the author finds words to escort us towards silence." ― Hilary Mantel "Cory Taylor's book is both a precise and moving memoir about the randomness of family, and an admirable intellectual response to the randomness of life and death. We should all hope for as vivid a looking-back, and as cogent a looking-forward, when we reach the end ourselves." ― Julian Barnes "This is a powerful, poignant and lucid last testament, at once an eloquent plea for autonomy in death, and an evocation of the joys, sorrows, and sheer unpredictability and precariousness of life. It's a fine contribution to our much-needed dialogue with death." ― Margaret Drabble Cory Taylor was an award-winning novelist and screenwriter who also published short fiction and children’s books. Her first novel, Me and Mr. Booker , won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize (Pacific Region) in 2012 and her second novel, My Beautiful Enemy , was shortlisted for the Miles Franklin Award in 2014. She died on July 5, 2016, shortly after Dying: A Memoir was published in Australia.

Features & Highlights

  • "Bracing and beautiful . . . Every human should read it." ―
  • The New York Times
  • A
  • New York Times Book Review
  • Editors' Choice and 2017 Critics' Pick One of Barack Obama's Favorite Books of 2017
  • At the age of sixty, Cory Taylor is dying of melanoma-related brain cancer. Her illness is no longer treatable: she now weighs less than her neighbor’s retriever. As her body weakens, she describes the experience―the vulnerability and strength, the courage and humility, the anger and acceptance―of knowing she will soon die.
  • Written in the space of a few weeks, in a tremendous creative surge, this powerful and beautiful memoir is a clear-eyed account of what dying teaches: Taylor describes the tangle of her feelings, remembers the lives and deaths of her parents, and examines why she would like to be able to choose the circumstances of her death.
  • Taylor’s last words offer a vocabulary for readers to speak about the most difficult thing any of us will face. And while
  • Dying: A Memoir
  • is a deeply affecting meditation on death, it is also a funny and wise tribute to life.

Customer Reviews

Rating Breakdown

★★★★★
30%
(378)
★★★★
25%
(315)
★★★
15%
(189)
★★
7%
(88)
23%
(289)

Most Helpful Reviews

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Misleading Title! She talks very little about ‘Dying’.

The beginning of the book held so much promise. It was what I was expecting. But not very far in, she just branches off talking about her uninteresting family and ... I just keep finding reasons to put the book down and go do something else. I mean, she just goes on, and on, and on about her relatives who are not interesting whatsoever. The amt of unnecessary details about her bland family put me to sleep. The title is misleading. I wasn’t moved. I did t think it was beautiful. It was just bleh! The only thing that I think is beautiful about this book is the cover, and, thats pretty much it (no offense to the author!).
4 people found this helpful
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Stark Account Of Going Fitfully Into That Good Night

"Dying: A Memoir" is a beautifully written, stark account by Cory Taylor, an Australian woman writing in the valley of the shadow of death, with no sense of any God to comfort her. Indeed, she seems to find little to comfort her in any sense. She looks to her childhood, but her peripatetic and troubled family life left Taylor with no true sense of home, no abiding faith, and strained relationships with her brother and sister. Taylor laments societies that outlaw a person's ability to choose the circumstances of her own death, once all hope of recovery is lost. She makes a strong argument. Anyone with in an interest in the issue, pro or con, should read her story for the valuable insight she leaves us.

She does, however, find solace in certain things: her husband, Shin; her adopted second country, Japan; food; the attention of care givers, and childhood memories of her mother, who endured an emotionally brutal marriage before finally divorcing Taylor's father. And, perhaps most of all, her writing. A passage about her early love affair with language kindled, in this reader anyway, memories of what it was like as a very young person to acquire the physical and intellectual tools to communicate via the written word. In one sense, the book is an homage to that great gift. Of course, even that fails her at the very end, as the wasting illness robs of of even that refuge: "I've come," she writes, "to the edge of words now, to the place where they falter and strain ... ."

To my mind, the great tragedy of the book is Taylor's seeming inability to appreciate the mark she has made in life. Yes, to dust we shall return, but there is an overriding sense that the dust is all she sees. Fear and despair creep into the final few pages, fed at least in part by a legal requirement that the terminally ill endure an escalating amount of suffering, propped up by medical advances: "As we are enabled to live longer, we are also condemned to die longer."

Taylor's honesty makes for an unsettling account, but the value in this book, as she set out, was to explore a subject -- death and dying -- that we just don't talk about enough, even though, as Dickens said, we are all "fellow passengers to the grave."

There are other, less despairing books written by people facing their own mortality. Two that come to mind are "Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived" by Laurence Shames and Peter Barton, and the bestselling "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. They are more enjoyable, uplifting reads. They are not necessarily more honest ones.
3 people found this helpful
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"I will miss being around to see what happens next."

In "Dying," Cory Taylor expresses her thoughts and feelings about her impending death from melanoma. She was diagnosed in 2005, just before she turned fifty, and the disease progressed slowly for almost a decade. However, after the cancer spread and all treatment options were exhausted, she realized that the end was near. She wrote this book to take stock of the past and weigh her limited options going forward. In an intimate and candid passage, Taylor raises the possibility of committing suicide using a euthanasia drug that she obtained online from China. She confides, "I contemplate my bleak future with as much courage as I can muster." It is too bad, she believes, that instead of talking openly about end-of-life issues, some believe that "the stark facts of mortality can be banished from our consciousness altogether." It is as if "death has become the unmentionable thing, a monstrous silence."

This book is more than just a contemplation of death. Taylor shares memories of her generally happy childhood and the satisfaction she derived from her career as a poet, screenwriter, and novelist. All was not placid during her formative years, however. Her parents had a contentious relationship, mostly because Cory's father was a self-centered and restless man who moved his wife and children around to such far-flung places as Fiji and Nairobi. The author was particularly close to her mother who, in her later years, disappeared into the fog of dementia. On a more joyful note, Taylor derived great pleasure from her marriage to Shin and loved being the mother of two wonderful sons, Nat and Dan. She enjoyed travel and was particularly fond of Japan, which she visited many times with Shin during their thirty-one year marriage.

In fluid, lyrical, and moving prose, Taylor decries the shortsightedness of those who miss the big picture. They waste countless hours worrying fruitlessly; engage in petty disputes; wallow in guilt over mistakes that cannot be undone; and nurse long-standing grudges against friends and relatives. Living well is an art that few master. "Dying" is a graceful and enlightening reminder that we should appreciate what we have, since "we are just a millimeter away from death, all of the time, if only we knew it."
2 people found this helpful
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A MUST Read (an honest review, for someone that was in my shoes)

Offers great perspective on life. It can get a little monotonous during the personal reflections of her childhood, but overall a book that should make you think about life and death differently.
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Profound

Profound read