Fear Gone Wild: A Story of Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss

I've never said this in a review before, but I truly think this book has potential to harm more than it helps. I had to put it down several times and wait a few days before picking it up again, as the way Kayla talks about mental illness is hurtful. When I tried to put myself in the shoes of someone who is currently struggling, her words often felt shaming, insulting, and unkind.

This is Kayla's story disguised as Andrew's (her husband) story, centering around her own self, instead of on "Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss." While we certainly need more books on those very things, this was written much too soon after her husband's death. I believe in time she will wish she would have waited more than a few months before penning and publishing this manuscript.

I am truly impressed by this book. Kayla takes us deep into the depths of her experiences with the downslide of her husband as he slid further and further away into the wilderness in a spiritual battle that cost him his life. But it is more than that. The biggest thing that hit me about this book is that she really brings out how people fighting these spiritual battles are quickly labelled as mentally ill, which they are, but usually the ball stops there. Kayla takes us further, showing how the person under spiritual attack is able to put on a facade, seeming almost normal as they go about daily tasks in the outside world but go into a deep, deep warfare on the inside into a battle not always won, a battle for their very life. Unlike many people assume, a person who commits suicide is not weak, does not just give up without even trying. No. It is a long and very hard battle. Even for someone who is very physically fit and has a spiritual calling, the battle is to a life or death challenge even because of that calling. But, Kayla doesn't stop with just tracking Andrew's battle to his suicide. She also leads us in a path to hope and understanding. She shows us how this is a testing. Even Jesus underwent this test, and to even a greater degree. The wilderness is the loneliest, most isolated place a person can go and the devil will follow with temptations tailored specifically for each individual. That is why no one is immune. The temptations are so subtle, always in the form of a question.

I think the most important part of this book is where Kayla goes through the prevalent myths about suicide in our society that are rampant even more in the church. These are myths which are damaging to the person and even more to friends and family. But they are not ideas from God. They are those subtle twistings of the truth that condemn rather than uplift. What Kayla is doing here is showing us that there is more to suicide than what these myths show. There are layers and layers of battles going on inside a person that those of us on the outside don't see even though to the person and their family, they loom threatening every day. And the battles happen day and night relentlessly, more in the night but can happen anytime. But in public, the person is able to keep up a facade that everything is okay, living a lie to everyone but themselves and God. They are not alone, but think they are. It is this point that hit me the most.

This book is not doom and gloom. This book is a story that leads us to the depths and then turns around and leads us to hope, the God kind of hope, the hope that gives life. It is one of the best books I have read and on a subject that is close to me. I highly recommend this for anyone, not just those who are near to the subject. It gives understanding to those who have no understanding and it gives more understanding to those who do understand.

There are chapter questions at the back of the book which are very helpful for reflecting over what you have read and key points to remember, whether you are reading individually or as a study group, In the back of the book, there are even resources to call for help, a list which is a welcome aid for those who pick up this book in need of more help than what they can get from reading.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher and was under no obligation to post a review.

This book hits especially close to home for me since I have the same mental illnes the author's husband had, and I nearly lost my daughter to suicide several years back.

The books tells how God guides people through "wilderness" rough spots in their lives.
I like how she emphasizes that her faith sustained her throughout the whole crisis. In the end her faith is even stronger than before any of it happened.
At the end is an appendix with questions for reflection (two to three for each chapter), and an Scripture verse for each chapter.

I gave it 5 stars because it is a very well-written guide for those who suffer from mental illness or who have family memebrs who do. Through it all, the author never loses sight of God.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher and was under no obligation to post a review.