Going Nowhere Fast

From Publishers Weekly The Shamus Award-winning author of the Aaron Gunner series (including You Can Die Trying ) takes an unfortunate detour with this tale of a retired couple on a cross-country trip in their new Airstream trailer home. Near the Grand Canyon, Dottie and Joe Loudermilk are visited by Bad Dog, their youngest, least loved and most troublesome child, and find a dead man in their toilet. The dead man has an assumed name, Bad Dog is being pursued by a very large, very angry pro football player and soon cops and government agents are beating a path to the Loudermilks' Airstream. Meant to be funny, the earnestly madcap narrative is mostly repetitive--former policeman Joe mutters, "Jeeze Looweez," every second page, while narrator Dottie routinely--and patronizingly--placates him. The plot is carried by coincidence and the semi-moronic Bad Dog's sporadic moments of criminality, which are nowhere near inspired enough to keep this series launch up to speed. Mystery Guild selection; Literary Guild alternate. Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. From Library Journal During a visit to the Grand Canyon, retired policeman Big Joe Loudermilk and his bumptious wife Dottie return to their newly acquired Airstream trailer from a morning run only to find an unknown corpse in the bathroom. Park rangers, police, mobsters, and the FBI variously harass the Loudermilks and their thickheaded youngest son until Dottie, dragging husband and son behind her, sets out on a quest for the truth. Deft, descriptive touches and humorous family interaction provide credibility in this departure from Haywood's Aaron Gunner detective series. Featherweight, delightful adventure.Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. From Kirkus Reviews This farcical change of pace from Haywood's Aaron Gunner series (You Can Die Trying, 1993) introduces the Loudermilk family: Big Joe, a retired police officer; his wife, Dottie (who establishes their uniquely affectionate domestic ambience early on when she sighs, ``I could almost feel his loving hands closing around my throat''); and their (ugh) children, whom they sell their house and buy an Airstream trailer to get away from--only to find, while they're admiring the Grand Canyon, their sour-smelling son Bad Dog in residence, together with a corpse on their toilet. Bad Dog tells a wild story: He doesn't know anything about the dead man, and he needs to borrow $1,000 from them and thumb a ride to Pittsburgh (they're headed to Texas) in order to start a job as apprentice trainer to the LA Raiders. The truth, as they learn when suspended Raiders end Dozer Meadows turns up on Bad Dog's tail, is even wilder. And still other intruders--from the FBI to a pair of phony reporters--are looking to crash Joe and Dottie's mobile-home Eden. How do all these zanies fit together? Not very closely at all, but if you're looking for a motive for Geoffry Bettis's murder, keep an eye on the precious contents of his safe-deposit box: three photos of a man checking his mail, and an outline drawing of a three-toed foot. Through it all, the Loudermilks remain ineffably daffy and foolish, like long-lost African-American relatives of Stanley Hastings. Geez Looweez. (Mystery Guild main selection; Literary Guild alternate selection) -- Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. Read more