He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

You've probably told yourself all of this stuff before, but seeing it in writing really brings it home. I feel like this book has changed my entire perspective on dating and when I feel like there's any inkling of a guy "not being that into me", I quickly end the communication. No point wasting our time!
I've had some push back from male friends who I explained this to and they said I can't base life off of a book written by people who can't know how EVERY single guy thinks, but the reality is that if the guy doesn't think the way I do about this--I don't want him!
On the same token, I've had some male friends who agreed that what's stated is true: if a man wants a woman, he goes and gets her!
If he is really that into you, you will know.
There will be no doubting or questioning.
This book just reaffirmed my inner voice that was telling me this kind of stuff but I always brushed aside in hopeless romantic style.
Not anymore!
If you're not that into me--bye!

I think this book actually has some practical advice, but it really should have been called "You deserve better" not "he's just not that into you". Seriously. I feel like its a put-down to the woman. It's like saying "he doesn't think your good enough for him, but someone will think you're good enough eventually... go find that a-hole". I feel like the book talks down to women like their stupid. Maybe the dude really isn't into her... but I think whats more important for women to consider in their relationship is not whether or not the man is "that into them" but whether or not they're being treated according to how they want and deserve... and if they're picking up this book, they're probably not... and THAT's the important thing.

A girl shouldn't be sitting around wondering "hmmm does he really want me?" a girl should be thinking "Am I getting what I want out of this relationship."

Does anyone actually remember the conclusion of that SATC episode? Miranda's out with a guy who says he wants to go home instead of hang out with her more... and she says "Admit it, you're not that into me. It's ok!" And it turns out the guy just had really bad diarrhea from the Indian food they ate. Books like this are bad because they overgeneralize. There's lots of reasons men do the things they do and many of them probably have nothing to do with you.

This book is freaking stupid. I picked it up out of sheer curiosity and it is 20 minutes wasted... the time would have been better spent staring at a blank wall.

I loved the movie so I thought I should give the book a chance but as soon as I finished this book the only thing I could think was, 'This is ridiculous.' Sure, some parts were cute and did make sense but for the most part I thought it was wrong. Yes, obviously, you shouldn't date a married man or a guy who only wants you at 3am. But that doesn't mean you should think that every guy who isn't constantly calling you or begging for your attention isn't into you. Just like girls, some men are afraid to look clingy or desperate, you have to show that you are into them also. If you follow all the rules/guide lines in this book most guys are going to end up thinking; She's just not that into me. This book will leave you thinking that no men get scared, that all men are insanely confident and that he isn't nervous to call you after that date, he just doesn't like you. The real truth is, some men are shy and need the validation that you like him too. You don't need this book to tell you if some guy likes you, all you need is your common sense and how he makes you feel.

I thought this book was entertaining, but I really couldn't believe that all these women went out of their way to make up excuses for a man treating them badly or ignoring them. I totally agree with Greg saying that you should believe a guy when he says he does not want to be in a serious relationship. But the crazy lady who continued to sleep with a guy after he broke up with her, or the one who never went out with the guy she was (what can I say, you can't say she was dating him if they never went out!), so sad. I also loved the comments by Liz, when she examined the situation from a woman's perspective with comments "Here's Why This One is Hard". I only disagree with a couple of points. There is such a thing as a shy guy that might be intimidated to ask out a successful, beautiful woman. He says never to ask a guy out, but I know if you just make it casual and not a date--it definitely works. For example, you can say "A bunch of us are going to so and so for happy hour, how about meeting us there?" or something else like a party or barbeque as long as a group will be there. After that, don't pursue a man and let him pursue you, but otherwise I know from experience that you will miss some great guys if you don't at least make a friendly gesture towards them initially. A lot of the suggestions are valid and no-brainers, such as don't date married men or men who are just too "busy" to manage to call you or give you the attention you deserve. However, we ladies sometimes do what we know isn't best for us in the long run, and I think it helps to give some concrete examples so we can see how stupid it looks on other people. If you consistently find yourself in bad situations with men, you definitely have some deeper issues to work on that you will not find in this book. This book is just meant to open your eyes a little in a humorous way and get you to throw him out, when in doubt. [[ASIN:1604941987 Power Path to Love]]

Greg Behrendt has written a great guide for a girl who'd like to woo and marry him. The guide is probably also useful for men similar to him. However, not all men are cast in one mold! If all women followed his advice, there would be a lot of unhappy singles walking around.

Greg advises women to drop men who treat them poorly. OK, this is good advice.

However, among Greg's strictures: never ask a guy out, never call a guy first, etc., etc. Basically, he is very opposed to a female making the first move. This is ridiculous for two reasons. First, many shy men would find themselves in a bad spot, as well as women who are partial to shy men. Secondly, in this modern day and age, his book simply perpetuates gender roles which are no longer meaningful to a large portion of society.

Greg defines relationships with rules and games rather than understanding and communication.

Okay as a male in his early twenties, just getting into the dating scene, I will have to agree with the authors who are trying to say "Some guys just are not that interested in you!"

I also have to agree with the comment about how shy guys have a hard time saying even a hello to a girl that he likes (I WAS ONE). But below I am mainly focus on normal guys who are not very shy or very outgoing.

But anyways, the reason why I am writing this review even though I have not read the book is that I feel like girls just do not get you don't like them, no matter how much you ignore them. Yeah, I might have smiled and said hi to have a conversation with you, but that does not mean I really like you. It just means I am trying to see if I like you or not. Some girls take this too seriously and think the guy likes them when only he was trying to be nice with a friendly chit chat.

My main message and advice for the ladies:

IF YOU GIVE A GUY AN OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK WITH YOU, WHETHER IT IS SITING NEAR HIM ALONE, OR MAKING EYE CONTACT TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE OPEN TO TALK, AND HE STILL DOES NOT INITIATE A CONVERSATION THEN THIS MEANS HE IS REALLY NOT INTERESTED. SO IF IT IS VERY VERY VERY EASY FOR HIM TO SPEAK WITH YOU BUT HE STILL DOES NOT INITIATE A CONVERSATION THAT MEANS HE IS REALLY NOT INTERESTED.

IN CONTRAST: I HAVE CHASED GIRLS WHO WERE JOGGING JUST TO SAY HI BECAUSE I WAS HIGHLY INTERESTED. IT WAS NOT VERY EASY FOR ME TO SPEAK WITH HER BUT I STILL INITIATED THE CONVERSATION. THIS SITUATION SHOWS WHAT AN INTERESTED GUY LOOKS LIKE: SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO SPEAK WITH YOU EVEN IF THERE IS A LOT OF RISK AND WORK INVOLVED.

IN CONCLUSION: REALLY, IF A GUY IS NOT VERY ATTENTIVE TO YOU, JUST MOVE ON. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE OTHER MEN WHO THINKS YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THEIR REALITY. PLUS, YOUR SELF-WORTH SHOULD NOT BE DEPENDENT ON PEOPLE'S APPROVAL.

Dear Greg,
I was dating a guy for a while and it got pretty serious. I moved away and we still talked all the time, we even met up half way(which was a 9 hr drive) for a weekend. A few months after I left I came back for a visit. The night before I was going to leave we still hadn't seen each other. I called him on the phone but he said he was already in bed.

Before this book I would have begged him to see before I left. But since reading this book I have realized.......He's just not into you if he is too tired to see you.

If you don't pretty much understand this book when you read the title... there is something wrong. I suppose this book is a smack to the head for those who need it. Silly me... I thought it was obvious when a guy didn't call that he wasn't interested.

Ladies - have some pride in yourself... get to know your soul, then find a mate... stop searching for a soulmate. Whatever that is.

I don't understand the big deal about this book. Letters from mostly sad lonely women. I get it... dating sucks... but there is no excuse for the desperation required to need this as a self help book.

If you don't pretty much understand this book when you read the title... there is something wrong. I suppose this book is a smack to the head for those who need it. Silly me... I thought it was obvious when a guy didn't call that he wasn't interested.

Ladies - have some pride in yourself... get to know your soul, then find a mate... stop searching for a soulmate. Whatever that is.

I don't understand the big deal about this book. Letters from mostly sad lonely women. I get it... dating sucks... but there is no excuse for the desperation required to need this as a self help book.

The problem is not that he's just not that into you.... it's that you're wayyy too much into him!!!

Ladies! Get a life and stop pining!