The Journey: A Roadmap for Self-healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Thanks to Meredith Miller and her generosity to share personal experience, so many of us have found our voices and a vocabulary to unravel generations of unspeakable abuse that leaves no bruises. Life rolls into one abusive, toxic relationship after the next, until one day the term "Narcissistic Abuse" is discovered. It takes courage and decisive action is taken to put a stop to it, refusing to be a victim ever again. The Journey will show you exactly where you are in your process, and steps to take in the direction of healing and self-empowerment. I also recommend this book for clinicians and therapists to better understand and treat survivors of Narcissistic Abuse, as the emotional wounds of this type of abuse can sometimes just as traumatizing as other types of abuse, if not more.

This is the story of Meredith waking up to realize who was narcissistic in her life. She ran away to Mexico/Peru, but a person can't heal in isolation. She got time to think separated from the narcissism, but kept finding more narcissistic people. To me gluten hurts people. When they are passive from being sick they maybe codependents and when they are more aggressive they maybe narcissistic. To me fix the gluten/Celiac (tests may not work to diagnose Celiac) and then the person can heal their brain/body/health issues and personality/mood and deal with life better and learn to have boundaries that protect them better. A codependent may attract narcissists due to being passive/no boundaries etc and used to this kind of person. Learning about narcissism helps, but to me they also need Celiac help since it gets worse with age if untreated. I need no gluten/dairy/soy/sugar/GMO/food with a label...take vitamins/good oils/minerals...probiotic...LDN...detox. This was an interesting story about Meredith. It helps me understand her better and life is a journey. You learn as you go. To me God speeds things up and praying in the positive way helps. God bless!

Best one about the matter

I felt that this book should have been accompanied by another book. I wasn’t clear on some of the terms the author used. While I have read 3 other books on Narcissism I felt this book could have been more detailed vs. directing the reader to the author’s website. I would have liked to read and do more . For example there could have been more how tos or quizzes .

Disappointed

Thanks

This is an Amazing book!

Narcissists enjoy a good chase. As in, they want you to chase after them. It's not love if you have to vie for someone's attention. Or if you’re the only one bending over backwards for an individual. Or if you feel the need to “prove” your love for the person, and this “proof” often involves sacrificing your integrity, finances, freedom, etc. And it’s not love if you’re doing all the chasing — or if they encourage you to chase them. I once told my narcissist: “I don’t chase men. Men pursue me.” Notice the wording. I used “chase” in the first sentence, because that’s what narcissists want. They want you to chase after them, only to watch as the distance increases, rather than decrease. Think of it as an annoying “catch me if you can” game with a mischievous dog. I used “pursue” in the second sentence because — unlike narcissists — I expect no one to chase me, but they pursue a friendship or relationship with me, and I let them know if I am interested or not. No games. No tactics. Just a normal exchange between two adults. But narcissists don’t want you to be healthy. They want to destabilize you. They want to turn you into a needy, jealous, irrational mess. They want you to be them. They mirror you at first, and then you (unbeknownst to you) mirror them. It’s a horrible way to live, and no one should ever put up with it.

THE JOURNEY is a great book for people hoping to escape from a toxic relationship. You should never — EVER — stay in this relationship. Dump them, or wait until the narcissist discards you. He or she will discard you anyway. It’s inevitable. It WILL happen. Then they will hoover you once they sense you’re getting better. Once they discard you, expect a hoover attempt. If it happens, and you want nothing to do with this individual, then it’s time for some serious reverse psychology. Tell them you love them and you want a ring on your finger, like RIGHT NOW. "Off to Tiffany's we go!" (Or words to that effect.) Or make a huge list of boundaries. Or tell them that you won’t put up with any more tomfoolery. Or be super-boring, or talk about yourself all the time. Interrupt them. Yawn whenever they start to either brag or play victim about something. If they triangulate you, tell them you'd like to meet the other person. Who knows, you'll probably hit it off and be besties! And then watch them run for the hills. Narcissists either A) do the opposite of what you want B) hate boundaries and deal-breakers or C) hate it when they’re not the center of attention. I only suggest the former to those who have to be in talking terms with the narcissist (for example, if you have children together or if they’re a family member or a business partner), but for the rest of you, it is END GAME. Cut ties. Are they doing the silent treatment for the millionth time? Are they ghosting you? Return the favor — for good. Leave no room for flying monkeys or smear campaigns. Don’t worry about the new person. He or she is another member of their sick harem. You worry about you. Make it impossible for them to reach you. They don’t get to come in and out of your life whenever they please. It’s your life, and you should live and enjoy it, narc free.

Great book! Inner Integration is one of the first places I went during my post-narc No Contact phase. It saved my life. Downsides? There’s no clear structure in this book, and it could have benefited from a thorough developmental editor. I give it four out of five strawberry smoothies!