The NEW Strong-Willed Child: Birth Through Adolescence

I purchased this book after it was recommended to me to help deal with my spirited preschooler. The person mentioned that spanking was advocated in the book, which gave me pause, but parents in my situation know that you are willing to hear out anything that might help. But after paging through the book I did some research on the author and was horrified to discover who this man is and what he stands for. In a nutshell, this man was a prominant Evangelical Christian who in addition to corporal punishment advocates that: women should know their place, thinks gay relationships are destroying society, non-traditional sexual roles are abominations, and on and on. I have a live and let live viewpoint on religion in general but I refuse to financially support anyone whose views are so at odds with mine. So this guy may be the child whisperer but I'm not going to find out because I'm returning the book and going with MacKenzie's work on the same topic.

This book is dangerous and disturbing. It makes me sad that so many parents are fans of the concept of "making" your child obey. There are better ways and much better books.

I have a 3 year old that I have had trouble dealing with from the time she was born. She held her breath out of anger when the nurse gave her a bath and put that tiny shirt on her just one hour after birth. She cried for the first 4 months from a combination of colic and wanting to be able to do whatever she wanted to do, like walk. I thought after she learned to roll, then, sit, then crawl, then walk, etc that she would be less cranky; well that didn't happen. She continues to be fussy, demanding, and insists on getting her own way. She wants to control the people in her world. Discipline and punishment have been difficult and have yielded little results; at home and at preschool. I have suspected for some time that she is strong willed and her teacher this week, after a full week of time outs from not listening, stated she did not know what to do with my daughter. I have read Dr. Dobson's book. It has great insight into how these children think. I don't fully understand how they think because I do not think that way. Dr Dobson opened my eyes on some issues and brought to my attention the fact that my daughter seriously needs direction, before her teen years. I liked the book, but wish he had been more specific and listed more detailed ideas/tools to use when punishing/disciplining besides spanking. I am not opposed to spanking but I find most discipline, including spanking, timeouts, taking privileges away, and offering rewards, do not work for my daughter. My daughter wants to do what she wants to do and that is the bottom line for her. This book has opened the door for me into her world and I have since been researching the subject online and have ordered 2 more books to help teach me how to deal with her. All the opponents to spanking, that I have read, use inflammatory words to get their point across. I was spanked as a child. I very vaguely remember maybe one of them. What I found harmful and hurtful to me was the yelling, screaming, being put down, controlled, belittled, and being worried when I would have to endure any of those things again; not being spanked. I can understand their passion, but controlled spanking needs to be put into perspective. All children need to be punished differently according to their temperament.

I'm not sure how much I can add to what's already been said, but if you truly have a strong-willed child, chuck Dobson and run to Robert MacKenzie's "Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child." because it actually has a plan of action that works. If you are religious, keep praying, but still read MacKenzie.

Obviously, Dobson's style appeals to a sort of Leave it to Beaver time of nostalgia, but any book that requires a HUGE disclaimer on child abuse is barking up the wrong tree. However, it's not hard to see why it needs the child abuse disclaimer as Dobson advocates that you tell the child, then smack the child. That's it, lather, rinse, repeat.

I also took exception to Dobson's criticism of other parenting styles, particularly ridiculing a parent that said spending time talking to her child helped solve discipline problems. I find that a blended approach works with my intense and very strong-willed four year old. If something works in lieu of spanking, why wouldn't you try it? Dobson wouldn't, because that would mean you actually had to have some respect for the child and that concept is sorely lacking in this book. Smack away!

I am raising a very strong-willed boy at the moment, and I found this book at a library sale. For $1, I thought I'd look through it.

Pros:
1. Dr. Dobson truly loves children and wants to help them and their parents
2. He does a great job of confirming that children are born with the temperaments God gave them. A strong-willed child is not the
result of poor parenting, as many people claim (the ones who don't have one). So we can stop feeling guilty or inadequate and ignore all those people
who say :If you would do such and such (like I do), you would have a better-behaved child.
3. He provides many examples of families with strong-willed children. If you read them all, you are bound to feel better about your own

Cons:
1. This whole book is built on the premise that some children are born rebellious and defiant and just plain enjoy being difficult and
challenging authority. I totally disagree. Many children are born with very persistent personalities. Some find change very difficult and have a tough time with transitions.
Others are introverts and need quiet time to recharge. Defiance and rebellion happen when these children are pushed beyond their limits and are trying to cope.
2. I didn't care for the jokey tone that he sometimes uses. I don't find any of this funny.
3. As other reviewers mention, he begins the book with a story of how he took a belt to his little dog to force him to obey. That doesn't help or inspire me. My son is not a dog.

For years my go to book for raising my son has been Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. The first time I read it I felt like I had been given an instruction manual for my son. The information makes so much sense and is enormously helpful. Her next book, Kids, Parents and Power Struggles, is even better.
This is the place to go for real help raising our spirited children.

This book by Dr. Dobson is another great read from a godly expert. I appreciated his no-nonsense approach to correction and his specific instructions for dealing with childhood behaviors. My almost-2 year old son has been throwing tantrums and displaying typical "terrible 2's" behavior. Dr. Dobson showed me how to deal with it in firmness and in love. Dr. Dobson always directs the reader back to God's love for us, and the connection between a parent's love for his child and God's love for us. An excellent read!

So afar really great book. Amazing that it was written back when I was a kid but is still applicable. Recommend to any parent of a strong willed child. Good tips in this book.

The "New Strong-Willed Child" is an update of Dr. James Dobson's original book for parents. It is a great source of information and strategy for parents of challenging children. I heartily recommend this volume for all parents, even those with "compliant" children.

A GREAT read. Very helpful information for raising any child (whether strong willed or not). Encourages you to stand firm in your decisions, and not let your child walk all over you. Teaches how to love, and gain respect from your child. I will be reading this again and going through with a highlighter so I can use for a quick reference later on.

This book was not what I expected. I bought this to help with our toddler, but I'm not sure it was what we needed. It may work well for someone else.