The Other Mother: A Woman's Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption

From Publishers Weekly In 1965, as a pregnant, unmarried 19-year-old member of an image-conscious, Catholic, southern family, Schaefer found herself unusually hemmed in. In this emotional memoir she describes the harsh conditions imposed on her--she was sent in secrecy to a home for unwed mothers where she gave birth and atoned for her "sin" by relinquishing her newborn son. Although Schaefer married and had two more children, her longing for reunion with her first child did not abate. On his 18th birthday, she began the arduous, frustrating process of making contact with her first born, named Jack, and his adoptive family in the Los Angeles area, finally arranging a successful meeting that involved the birth father as well. This wrenching account, covering a range of adoption issues, is a moving testament to the bonding power of motherhood. Literary Guild alternate. Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc. From School Library Journal YA-- It is hard to remember the stigma placed upon unwed mothers during the early 1960s and 70s. Carol Schaefer was 19, in love, and pregnant, a disgrace to her Catholic family and a sinner against the Church. She was packed off to a convent home with girls in the same circumstances to await the her baby's birth. None of the girls had the option of keeping their children, and they were strongly discouraged from even seeing them after their birth. The young mothers-to-be were not to use their real names or form any friendships with one another. Carol gave birth to a son and spent the next 18 years haunted by his memory and her overwhelming need to find him. Although his adoption records were sealed, she surmounted all odds, and the two were reunited. This poignant story takes readers on a trip through sadness, despair, frustration, and joy. With so many adopted children searching for their roots today, The Other Mother gives a view of the other side of the search: birth mothers looking for lost children. - Katherine Fitch, Jefferson Sci-Tech, Alexandria, VA Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. In 1965, at age nineteen, Carol Schaefer gave her son up for adoption. Sent to a Catholic home for unwed mothers where she wasn't allowed to use her last name or share personal information, she was told repeatedly that she made the right decision for the baby, that she would soon forget. But she never forgot and remembers the home as a place of great loss. She recalls signing the adoption papers: "The consequences of those signatures would permeate every aspect of my life, my son's life, Chris's [the father's] life, and many, many other lives, forever. I had no legal counsel, no psychological counseling. I was nineteen and alone. I sat for a while, stunned, overcome by my desolation." When her baby was two days old he was taken away, and she vowed to find him when he was eighteen. She married and had two more sons, all the time remembering she had another child, one she might walk past and not recognize. Carol Schaefer's honesty about the social pressures of the times touches deeply: the feeling that adoption was a middle class disease, the shame and secrecy surrounding her pregnancy, and the effects giving up her child had on her self-esteem and future. Strength, sadness, joy, and the power of undeniable love abound in this book. -- For great reviews of books for girls, check out Let's Hear It for the Girls: 375 Great Books for Readers 2-14 . -- From 500 Great Books by Women ; review by Holly Smith Read more